Research Borne From Necessity

This is a copy of the back of a check I should have received, but didn't. This is a copy of the back of a check made out to me, but intercepted and deposited into a stranger's account without being endorsed. This is a copy of the back of a check that this person's bank simply credited, even though the name on the check differed from the name of the account holder.

This has been my research project for much of this week. I wish I could say it has been for a book in progress. Unfortunately, it's just life.

This is what I've discovered:

1. This sort of thing happens all the time.

Really. ATM deposits are rarely scrutinized. I guess this person (can I refer to him/her as 'dipshit'? Well, it's my blog, so I guess I can. . . maybe 'DS' for short. This is a family blog, after all.) just figured no one would notice. It's a decent amount of money as far as I'm concerned, but not so much you could run away with it, or pay off your mortgage, or even buy a really good car. (I mean, really, if you're going to practice fraud, go big or go home. I'm thinking get enough money to buy an island.)

2. It's (fortunately) just theft and not identity theft, because in most cases, the DS will just deposit the money in their own account and not open up a new account with your name.

3. If you have any concern that someone is using your name to open up bank accounts/credit cards, etc, it's a good idea to put a potential fraud notice on your financial life and you can do this at www.consumerdebit.com.  Also, monitor your credit reports.

4. You may feel extraordinarily pissed off, no matter how much (or how little) money it involves. (You stole from me, DS, I hope karma catches up and bites you on the ass. Soon.)

5. Because this check was part of an insurance settlement from our 2010 house fire, we have to deal with not one, but two bureaucracies! (Insurance company and bank.)

Whoo hoo! Fun times! While the insurance company has sustained the monetary loss, they likely have a line item in their budget for fraud, etc. Ditto the bank. And since it's not a six figure amount, they pretty much throw it to their lowest priority bin. Meanwhile, I'm in limbo-land waiting for my money and no one but me seems to be in any big hurry to get it to me.

6. Patience is a virtue. It's not easy finding your way through a bank's phone tree. It took me two hours to get through all the layers of customer service at the bank to get to (saints be praised!) an amazingly helpful woman at the identity theft/fraud division. She's the one who gave me the information on putting the fraud alert on my financial information. As well as the person who told me this happens ALL the time.

All the time.
No wonder there's so much overhead built into the system. It must be millions of dollars every year that get lost in the cracks of fraud and theft.

7. Keep excellent records. I've scanned everything that's part of this case into the computer. If you don't have a scanner, photocopy it all. Keep notes of your phone calls, who you've spoken with, the time of the call and a summary of the conversation. At the very least, you will likely be talking to a host of people over a few weeks and it's easy to confuse details.

And now that I know a little more about fraud, identity theft, and banking than I did a week ago, I hope to be able to weave it into a story some day. 

--
This post (sorry--a few days late!) was written as part of the FM Writers Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour, where a group of writers take a common monthly theme and write a post in support of that theme. This month's theme was 'Research'.

Motivation Station

To be a working writer means finding a way to motivate yourself to keep working. A complete novel can require you to string together 60,000 to 80,000 words, organized into cohesive storylines that are comprised of chapters. The chapters are built from scenes, which in turn rely on paragraphs which are put together one sentence at a time.

It's an incredible amount of work and more than a little daunting to consider.

I've often said if I knew how much work putting together a novel was going to be, I would never have attempted it.

So here I am, eight novels later, with an opening to a story, along with a loose outline/plot plan, looking ahead to hours and hours of work to achieve a viable draft. It's enough to make a writer throw in the towel and decide to surf Facebook instead. (No, it never does get any easier. . . )

What keeps me motivated?

First, I'm more than a little bit compulsive and having my word processor track my word count keeps me writing. Watching that number climb is as addictive as watching the score go up in a video game.

Second, this is my job. I'm a writer. And as my friend and editor, Rebecca Blain says, 'writers write'.  Frankly, I'm too stubborn to give up.

Third, my family believes in me. They have given me the space and time to write. My work is a promise I've made to them and they deserve my best words.

Most importantly, as difficult as parts of the process can be, just getting words on the page is the greatest reward I can imagine. I can leaf through a manuscript and know that the universe depicted in its pages would not have come to being without my effort. And when I get frustrated or stymied, I look at all my bookshelves and feel an instant kinship to any writer who has ever forced pen to paper. The rows and rows of books lining the walls of my living room and office are both reminder and motivation to keep working.

Today's post is part of the FM Writers Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour where dozens of writers put their own spin on a common monthly topic. This month's topic was motivation.

Community Ties

This morning, I completed a whole novel critique for one of the members of a small writing/support group I belong to on Facebook (shoutout to the lovely ladies of the #SFWG!) and it occurred to me what a wonderful opportunity the internet has given me.

I'm currently part of several writing communities, some virtual, some physical, and all important to my development as a writer.

For many, many years, I was an active moderator at Wild Poetry Forum. I found WPF when I was the young mother of 2, working full time, and trying to write something--anything--in the margins of my life. I had no flexibility to look for a local writing group and having access to a community of poets from across the globe and a place to post work for review meant I could participate in the time I could carve from my crazy life.

When I started to work on novel-length fiction, I stumbled into Forward Motion for Writers and quickly found a critique group there. It lasted for several years and I am still in contact with many of the members of the group. In fact, the artist (Jade Zivanovic) who designed and created the cover for THE BETWEEN was originally a member of that writing group. She is from Australia. I live in the US. Without FMWriters, I would never have had the great good fortune to work with her.

Another one of my communities emerged from a local workshop I took about 6 years ago. The Ultimate Science Fiction Writing Workshop introduced me to a group of local writers and after the formal workshop was over, we've stayed in touch using a combination of real-life meetups and an internet message board. In fact, it is from that group that the PEN-ULTIMATE anthology emerged from.

The #SFWG is a small community of writers--most of whom write historical fiction, though they let me play in their sandbox. :) #SFWG (and what it stands for is a secret!) is as much a private space to gripe, a place to share sorrows and triumphs, as it is a critique group. The wonderful ladies who make up this group know how much I appreciate their support this past year.

Another kind of community is what I call my 'water cooler': Google Plus. Over the past 2 years, I have grown to really appreciate the ability to hang out and talk 'shop' with a community of writers and artists there. When you work from home, alone, but for the company of two shelter dogs, it becomes crucial to have other folks to talk to.

I feel extremely fortunate to very literally have the world at my fingertips. Writing can be a very lonely endeavor. My myriad communities make my life so much more vibrant.

Today's blogpost is part of FMWriter's Merry-Go-Round Blog tour. To see what dozens of other writers from one of my communities have to say about their communities, this month's topic, check out the blog tour hub. 

My Favorite Character

Chocolate Chip ice cream, photo by deflam, used with attrib under cc license

For the record, I loathe questions about favorites. They feel like too much pressure. If I commit to a favorite (ice cream flavor, musician, book, vacation spot) will I be stuck with that answer for all time? My answers might change depending on the day the question is asked, or what is happening in my life. Then again, there are certain favorites that have remained since childhood. (Chocolate chip, with Moose Tracks a close second.)

If you'd asked me who my favorite character was when I was 4 or 5, I would have said Speed Racer. Don't ask me why, but my family tells me I was convinced that Speed Racer and Elvis Presley were the same person.

A little later in childhood and I latched onto Steve Austin, the 'Six Million Dollar Man' as my favorite character. I was a huge fan of the tv show and watched it week in and week out. I then transferred my loyalty to Jaimie Sommers, The Bionic Woman.  I always thought she got cheated, with a much smaller series run.

Around the same time--early 1970s, I stumbled onto a strange British TV serial about a man in blue phone box who traveled through space and time with a variety of side kicks. That's when I discovered Sarah Jane Smith. She and Doctor Who became staples of my childhood and early adulthood and whenever I could, I would try to catch old re-runs to see my heroine again.

As much as I loved Jon Pertwee's and later Tom Baker's Doctors, it was Sarah Jane I admired. She was plucky, self-sufficient, adventurous, defiant, and funny. For a long time, I wanted to grow up and be just like her.

Sadly, the TARDIS never landed in my backyard, so I never had the chance to run amok through time and space, but my love of Sarah Jane and Doctor Who was likely a driving force for my imagination and the reason I write speculative fiction today.

I think there may be a little of Sarah Jane somewhere in many of my main characters. As for which of my own characters is my favorite? I plead the fifth and will say that I love them all, even the antagonists.

Today’s post was inspired by the topic “Your favorite character”– June’s topic in the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour — an ongoing tour where you, the reader, travel around the world from author’s blog to author’s blog. You can find links to all of the posts on the tour by checking out the group site. 

What's the Happy Haps?

Playing with clay when I'm not playing with words

I don't know why, but I love the expression "happy haps". It's fun to say and it has a nice little rhythm to it. It's something I heard my teenagers say and have stolen, much to their chagrin. If Mom uses it, it can no longer be cool/hip/boss or whatever the current slang is for something interesting.

So what's going on in my writing life right now?

Actually, not a lot.

I finished the revision of DERELICT and sent it off to my agent 2 weeks ago. If she signs off on it, the manuscript will be on its way to a wonderful editor I had the pleasure of meeting at Boskone a few months ago. (And hopefully several other editors as well!)

While that's in process, I've been serializing a 'renovation' of an older novel called OATHBREAKER'S PRICE, an alternate-world fantasy story. (Links to the serialization on the right hand sidebar.)

I feel like I've spent the past 3 months in revision/edit mode. Shifting gears to new writing feels awkward. Partly that's because we've just been through a very stressful time in the life of our family, partly it's because I don't do change very gracefully, partly because I am not sure what I'll be writing next, novel-wise.

And you know what? That's okay. The creative mind needs fallow time to recharge. While I'm waiting for my next story to claim me, I'll be working in the ceramics studio and watching the garden grow.

Today’s post was inspired by the topic “Current projects”– May’s topic in the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour — an ongoing tour where you, the reader, travel around the world from author’s blog to author’s blog. You can find links to all of the posts on the tour by checking out the group site.

Same old, same old

PB&J, photo by spcbrass cc license: CC BY-SA 2.0

I'm not a person who likes change very much. My mother used to tell a family story about my routines and habits centered around my lunches: She would make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day during my elementary school years. One night at dinner, my father commented that maybe she should make me more varied food and for the next week, she made something different (that I generally enjoyed and would eat) for me to take.

After several days of this (to my mind maddening) variety, I broke down and cried at the dinner table. "Why can I have PB&J anymore? Don't you love me?"

Needless to say, we returned to the lunch routine.

With a history like that, you might think I wake up at the crack of dawn and sit down to write two hours a day between 7 and 9, like clockwork.

You'd be wrong.

I like predictability but not rigid structure. Do I write everyday? Yes and no. I am always thinking about some aspect of my job as a writer. Some days its a matter of studying a point of craft. Other days, it's cranking my 1K new word goals on a new story. Still others, it's editing or providing critique for a colleague. Part of my work as a writer is reading and creating blog posts, so all that counts, too.

But I don't organize my day according to a specific routine.

Part of that is because of my temperament, part is because I also have other hats I wear, including parent, which makes mock of any attempt at a perfect routine.

I think there is sometimes an unfair conflation of discipline with routine. As if one can't be disciplined without following a specific schedule. To my way of thinking, finding the way that works for you that gets you to 'the end' means you have discipline.

Does this mean I NEVER follow a routine or a schedule? Of course not. I just have a more loose interpretation of routine. I'm also willing to try new structures if something isn't working well.

And lest you think I am incapable of flexibility, I'll have you know that I left PB&J's for lunch behind with my childhood. In college I ate a sesame seed bagel with tuna salad and swiss cheese. Every day. For four years.

Today’s post was inspired by Forward Motion’s Merry-Go-Round topic,  ”Writing Routines”.  If you want to get to know nearly twenty other writers and read about their ideas, then check out the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour.

First Stories

First stories. That's this month's topic at the Forward Motion Merry-Go-Round-Blog-Tour. I could talk about the first novel I attempted, which I started writing in my teens and abandoned.  Two decades and 6 moves later, I found my stained and ripped legal pad and my spidery handwritten story opening. Yes, it was bad. Yes, it was melodramatic. Yes, it was wish fulfillment.

And yet, it also had the germ of a story I still wanted to tell. So after years of writing patient progress notes, journal articles, and some angsty poetry in long hidden away journals, I decided to write the story that eventually became THE WINGS OF WINTER, finishing it in 2005. That novel, less horrible than the handwritten chapters I had come across in cleaning out the basement a year earlier, is 'trunked' on my computer's hard drive, waiting for my willingness to burn it down to the ashes and start again someday. Since then, I have written 7 more novels, hundreds of blog posts, hundreds of poems, and dozens of short stories and in some way, every time I sit down to write, it feels like a 'first.' (See my post on the beginner's mindset.)

But when I think of first stories, what I think about is not what I have written, but the stories we tell ourselves even before we think of putting pen to paper.

The stories we convince ourselves are true about us--the deepest part of us. The stories we choose to believe, that shape the face we show the outside world. The stories that limit the full expression of who we can be.

The first story I turned into a kind of terrible truth was that my voice wasn't important. That other people had better things to say and more interesting lives. That if I spoke out, I risked the outside world's ridicule. And because I believed it, it became reality. I kept my silence, locked my words in notebooks no one read, kept my self hidden, too, believing that I wasn't good enough.

When I was a senior in college, a friend urged me to submit some of my poetry to the Dean's Prize in creative literature. I don't know what possessed me--probably because I just wanted her to stop bugging me about it--but I typed up a few poems and submitted them. I only entered the contest because I KNEW I had no chance to win. So there was no risk of rejection: I had already rejected myself.

When a slim envelope came in the mail, I nearly didn't bother opening it. It would just be confirmation of what I already understood. But masochist that I was, I figured I should read the rejection letter.

Inside was a letter of congratulations and a check for some crazy sum of money--maybe $150 or so (this was in 1984, so I really don't remember the amount.) I had won the Dean's prize for a poem I had written called "To An Artist on Cadman Plaza West." During the summer prior, I had to drive over the Brooklyn Bridge for work and would see this young man in a little triangle of land in the tangle of on and off ramps to the bridge. He stood there day after day with an easel and would sketch amid the chaos. It moved me and so I wrote the poem for him.

I still remember staring at that letter, convinced they had made some clerical error. That my rejection letter had gotten slipped in someone else's envelope. But it was my poem they chose and in that moment, the story I had clung to for so long became a fiction I no longer had to believe.

In that moment, I could create a new story.

My own story.

It may have taken me a few decades after that to open my heart to my identity as a writer, but I trace my current self--my writer self-- to that moment. Not of reading the prize letter, because that was something outside of me, but that moment when I chose to believe in my voice and in who I would become.

What is your 'first story'? And is it one you want to keep retelling?

Today’s post was inspired by the topic “First Stories”– February’s topic and theme in the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour — an ongoing tour where you, the reader, travel around the world from author’s blog to author’s blog. If you want to get to know nearly twenty other writers and find out their thoughts on first stories, check out the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour. You can find links to all of the posts on the tour by checking out the group site.

Finding Balance, the 2013 edition

What drowning in social media can feel like.
Water, Glacier NP Photo by Adam Englehart, used under cc license

I spent a bit of time thinking about goals for the year in this post at the end of December, but it was more in comparison with what I had and hadn't accomplished for 2012.

As the year starts, I've been giving more an more thought to what I want to accomplish and what is realistic to work toward. One of my personal goals--and it impacts my writing goals--is to sit less and be more physically active. What this means in real terms is I need to spend less time noodling around the net. There is an endless stream of content flowing past all our social media sites: twitter, FB, G+, Tumblr. There is an abundance of interesting people saying interesting things.

But if I spend all my time reading and engaging with them I won't get my work done.

And make no mistake, my work is writing.

If I need to limit the number of hours I'm sitting at the computer, I'm not going to limit my writing time. But I also don't want to be a hermit. An active social media presence is pretty much a requirement for today's writer. It's a matter of balance.

If the amount of time I spend on the 'net NOT writing is greater than the time I spend writing, then I have a problem.

I'm trying to look at my social media time in two ways. One, as an extension of my writing persona and a way to let people know what I'm working on. Two, as a virtual water cooler where I can connect with other writers and creative folks. But publicity and coffee breaks need to be the smaller percentage of my workday.

I'll know I've gotten the balance right when I get more writing done in less time. In 2012, I was able to draft a novel and a half. In 2013, I'd like to draft 2 full novels. It should be doable, given my typical writing pace.

Today’s post was inspired by the topic “2013 Goals/Anticipation”– January’s topic and theme in the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour.  If you want to get to know nearly twenty other writers and find out their thoughts on goals for the New Year, you can find links to all of the posts on the tour by checking out the group site. Read and enjoy!

A Year in the Life

2012: A Review

I find it extremely useful to look back at the year that has just passed as a way to move forward in setting goals for the upcoming year.

I've written these year-in-review posts for as long as I've been blogging and I find a curious thing: while I almost never actually meet my yearly goals, I accomplish an enormous number of things. They're just not necessarily the items I had anticipated.

Perhaps this is not quite the problem or failure it might seem to be. Life throws curve balls. If there's one thing I have learned in the past several years, it's to be flexible in the face of the unexpected. (Now, stop laughing, I didn't say I enjoyed it, or even did it gracefully. . . )

So in that spirit, I offer this restatement of the goals I set this year for 2012:

In 2012, I intended to:  

1. Shepherd THE BETWEEN to its ideal readers

My first major goal for 2012 was to get THE BETWEEN in the hands of its readers. I spent a lot of time in the beginning months of 2012 working on obtaining reviews, doing guest blog posts and giveaways, and crafting a marketing plan that felt authentic and not sleazy. I think I accomplished that and made authentic connections with readers and potential readers.

2. Generate enough support and interest to write and release its sequel.

In terms of working on the sequel, I have a bare bones structure for when I return to that world. But I realized that raising awareness for one novel while trying to kickstart another was a way to burn out.

3. Finish the first draft of the "YAGSIP"

Goal number 3? I was all over that. I *owned* that goal. It was an excellent writing year, actually. Now if only I could find a name for the %$#!! novel.

4. Return to my poetry roots

Poetry. I filled several small notebooks with lines, stanzas, and drafts of poems. I also participated in the annual August Poetry Postcard fest, where I wrote 31 original postcard poems and sent them all over the world to 31 different poets.I also got to attend the 2012 Dodge Poetry Festival, which always fires up my soul with the sheer beauty of language.

5. Focus on my physical wellness

Well being? Well, that was a major fail. I know this has been on my list of goals for several years now and I need to do something about it. I'm healthy, but in poor physical shape. I could berate myself for laziness, but it's also that I've had to cope with some significant personal and family stressors in the past year, including the death of my mother and my father's multiple hospitalizations. 

So, what DID I accomplish in 2012?

• In addition to completing the first draft of the Ghost Story, I also started and am set to finish a Science Fiction novel (DERELICT) that I project to come in at 100,000 words. (As of last night, it's at 92K) That represents 1 1/2 novels written in 2012. 
• I revised FUTURE TENSE with feedback from both my agent and some wonderful beta readers (shout out to the lovely gals of the #SWFG and Rebecca Blain from G+)
• Approximately 100 new blogposts, the majority of them here at the Once in a Blue Muse Blog, but also as part of several blog tours, including the Merry-Go-Round Blog tour and the Black Ink White Paper group blog.
• Speaking of DERELICT, I decided to do something different with my work and serialize it as a novel in progress. I've been slowly garnering a wonderful community of interested readers and have really enjoyed the process of being accountable to them during the process.
• At Readercon last July, I had dinner with my fellow graduates of Jeffrey A. Carver's and Craig Shaw Gardner's Ultimate SF&F Workshop. Sitting around the table, it struck me that I was in company with an enormously talented pool of writers and suggested we put together an anthology. I'm thrilled to say that this project is moving forward and my co-editor and I will be meeting to review our submissions over the next few weeks with a plan to have the anthology ready in time for 2013 Readercon.
• I released a slew of new short stories to subscribers of BlueMusings, my newsletter.
• I got to meet my agent, the lovely Nephele Tempest of The Knight Agency, for the first time during a recent trip to L.A. We are working towards the same goals and in the same direction, weathering the vagaries of the publishing industry.
• I applied for, and was invited to run a panel with the estimable Tamora Pierce at 2012 ConBust, a small SF&F con run at Smith College in Northampton, MA. It was a wonderful experience, one I will treasure (especially since I got to meet and stay with the utterly wonderful Jane Yolen!!)

In 2013, I Intend to Accomplish:

• Revise/edit the ghost story (which really, really needs a title) and DERELICT
• Brainstorm with Nephele regarding what to write next/continue to align goals with the aim of publication
• Complete and publish the Ultimate SF&F Workshop Anthology
• Write 4-6 new short stories

To my reader and writer friends: May the New Year bring you joy and peace.

The State of the Art

 

Original Cast recording of "Putting it Together" from Sondheim's Sunday in the Part with George

So, this month's Merry-Go-Round blog tour subject is on the state of the publishing industry. When I started to think about what one struggling writer could possibly contribute to this conversation, given how many industry blogs and articles are out there in the world, I started to think about one of my favorite musicals: Sunday in the Park with George.

There's a song in the second act where George, the great-grandson of George Seurat (the pointillist) is trying to sell his newest artistic production and he sings a song called "Putting it Together." Some of the lyrics include:

Art isn't easy.
Every minor detail
Is a major decision,
Have to keep things in scale,
Have to hold to your vision-
Every time I start to feel defensive,
I remember lasers are expensive.
What's a little cocktail conversation 
If it gets the funds for your foundation,
Leading to a prominent commission,
And an exhibition in addition?

He is frustrated by the way the business of art gets in the way of the expression of art. This is a sentiment I share, and the show explores the tensions artists struggle with in reconciling art with day to day life, which may be why it has always spoken to me (even though it received very mixed reviews on its debut).

This isn't a new issue, even as many writers in our current 'interesting' times might believe it to be. I'm sure Leonardo DiVinci had to deal with making rent money, too. And probably decried needing to sculpt for his patrons.

There are two extremes for the artist to consider: hang the business and the critics and write/paint/sing what your heart demands versus subsume what your heart demands and give the public what it wants. I believe every creator needs to finds a place on the continuum, because neither extreme feels like a healthy or sustainable choice.

My place on that spectrum has been to stay as informed about the business of publishing as possible, and to try to find a way to fold the work of my heart into a format that the marketplace will not reject. I'd like to say that it has been a wildly successful decision. The truth is, that I've found little traction thus far.

Perhaps I've not found the right balance point. Perhaps I just need to be more patient. Perhaps the market needs to shift before I find my place in it. Perhaps I will not achieve commercial success in my writing.

As George says:

Art isn't easy.
Overnight you're a trend,
You're the right combination-
Then the trend's at an end,
You're suddenly last year's sensation.

At the end of Sondheim's musical, Dot, the woman in Seurat's painting, tells the struggling George this:

Stop worrying if your vision
Is new.
Let others make that decision-
They usually do.
You keep moving on.

 As many times as I've seen this show, this song always brings me to tears.  While I have no crystal ball and no special insight into the future of publishing, this I do know: I am a writer and writers write. Regardless of the state of the business, there will always be a need for art. As Dot says, just keep moving on.

---


Today’s post was inspired by the “state of the industry” prompt in the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour, an ongoing tour where you, the reader, travel around the world from author’s blog to author’s blog. We have all sorts of writers at all stages in their writing career, so there’s something for everyone to enjoy.

Professional Is as Professional Does

The topic of being professional is one that I return to again and again. Not because I'm some great sage able to impart my wisdom to writers far and wide, but because in writing about it, I continue to refine my own thoughts about what it means to be professional.

In my prior life as a Physical Therapist, being professional meant holding to ethical practice, advocating for patients and their goals, contributing as a member of a health care team, and seeking out opportunities for assessment and continued learning.

For over 20 years, I practiced as a professional PT, learning and growing as a clinician, performing my job to the best of my abilities.

When I made my career shift from clinician to writer, many aspects of my life changed. Certainly, my commute got easier, if you don't count the traffic jam of two dogs trying to trip me up on my walk across the living room. Particularly hazardous when holding coffee! I can go to work these days in sweats or even PJ's. Hooray for writers working at home without dress codes! Everyday is casual Friday!

But my commute and my standards of dress are not what create professionalism.

Much of that, in my job as a writer, is my work ethic.

When I had a schedule of patients and meetings in my therapy work, I never had to find the motivation to get up and do the work. The work, in no small part, demanded I do it. If I don't sit down to write for a day, there are no irate characters phoning me about missed appointments. (Wow--maybe that's a new marketing opportunity! LOL) Because my deadlines are self-imposed, the only one keeping me honest is me.

There is no external licensing agency mandating continuing education credits. If I want to improve in my craft, I must seek out those opportunities on my own as well.

In my job as a writer, I also have no colleagues physically present in my office. One of the aspects of my work as a clinician that I loved was the opportunity to work collaboratively with other health professionals. Fortunately, the internet has provided a way to easily network and connect with other writers.

Perhaps the biggest difference between my work as a clinician and my work as a writer, is that being a Physical Therapist earned me a living. At this point, my fiction does not. However, that doesn't mean I don't consider my writing to be my profession. And I have no doubt that given work, time, and a professional attitude, it will.

Today’s post was inspired by the topic “What ‘professional writer’ means to me”– October’s topic in the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour — an ongoing tour where you, the reader, travel around the world from author’s blog to author’s blog. You can find links to all of the posts on the tour by checking out the group site. 

The Daunting Challenge of Books Not Yet Read

It was bad enough when my book shelves got filled to capacity and I started having to pile them horizontally in the small spaces between the top of the books and the bottom of the shelf above. It was bad enough when my nightstand could be classified as a hazard, with a teetering stack of books crowding out the telephone and clock. It was bad enough when the boys started to exercise their own taste in books and brought home towering piles of their own from the library and our local bookstore.

Now we have eBooks.

Oh, the revolution!

All the books you want in a small device you can slip in your pocket.

Unread books make me feel guilty.  Guilty in the same way that I feel if I make the mistake and visit the petfinder's website and can't take all the dogs home. Unfortunately, I can take books home. Far more books than I can manage to read in a reasonable time frame.

It's one thing to have that pile of books in your face. There is no room in my house I can go where there's not at least one book I haven't yet read, waiting. But now, even my iPod is filled with eBooks I haven't read.  So now my guilty conscience hounds me even when I can't physically see my bookshelves.

Too many books.

Not that I'm complaining.

It's an embarassment of riches. I honestly can't remember a time in my life when I wan't reading multiple books at one time. I figure there are worse problems to have in this world.

How do you deal with your TBR pile? What's next on your list?

Today’s post was inspired by this month's prompt:  “what’s on your to-read list” via  the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour, an ongoing tour where you, the reader, travel around the world from author’s blog to author’s blog. The list of all participants are on the main blog tour site. Have a look.

Balancing Act

Photo by Thomas Hawk, used with attribution, cc license

Balance is something I think we all struggle with, whether we write or not.  The very fact that our time in this world is limited means we must make choices and prioritize.

When my children were younger and I had a busy physical therapy practice, and stories bouncing around my head, life felt less like I was juggling and more like I was spinning plates. (An analogy I first heard from one of my work supervisors.)  If you haven't seen plate spinning, it's a pretty amazing feat.

Photo by Lissalou66, used with attribution, cc license

Spinners get one plate to stay on the stick by spinning it fast enough. Then they will add additional plates on other sticks, giving each as much momentum as possible. The problem lies in keeping each plate from slowing down too much that they wobble and fall down.

That's what my life felt like.

I worked hard to keep all the plates spinning. Certain responsibilities needed more spin to stay in motion than others. I was so afraid to let any of the plates drop that I became more and more frantic, dancing between plates, giving each just enough of a push before running off to the next one.

It was exhausting and extremely stressful. And while I did keep most of the plates in motion, the cost was too high to be sustained.

I had to learn the very difficult lesson that I couldn't be all things to all people at the same time and maintain any kind of balance and sanity. It certainly got easier when my sons got older, but where I really saw a change in how crazed my life seemed was when I understood I needed to prioritize taking care of myself. And that meant making time to write.

Which  meant making choices. Since it is generally frowned upon to neglect one's kids or not show up to work, those sources of extra time were right out. Instead, I learned to write in the spaces between other life tasks. As long as I could carve out 15 minutes, I could use them to write. I carried a notebook everywhere I went and found plenty of opportunities to fill its pages. I gave up watching television to find other opportunities to write. And I realized that I didn't need to be perfect, that the world wouldn't end if I called for delivery pizza now and again.

Now that I'm writing full time and my kids are older teens, life is generally less pressured, though other
'plates' need to be spun.

I suspect there will never be a time in my life when I don't have to make choices and critically examine all the things I need and want to accomplish.

So how do you juggle/spin your plates?

Today’s post was inspired by the topic “Balancing writing with the rest of life”– June’s topic in the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour — an ongoing tour where you, the reader, travel around the world from author’s blog to author’s blog.  Get to know nearly twenty other writers and find out their thoughts on finding, creating, and maintaining balance. 

Deadlines, To Do Lists, and Expectations, Oh My

I'm a compulsive list maker and setter-up of organizational systems to keep track of them that I ultimately don't or can't use.

I fact, I'm probably the most organized disorganized person you'll ever meet.

This is not something I'm proud of and something I've struggled with for my entire life. I was a terribly disorganized student and blew through deadlines (or at least left things for the last minute) more times than I want to admit. It wasn't until I hit graduate school and my student physical therapy placements that I had to learn to deal with deadlines, schedules, and time management.

It was a hard lesson, but ultimately, I developed a system using a Daytimer paper calendar that I ended up keeping for nearly 2 decades. If I didn't always make my deadlines, at least I knew they existed.

Now that I'm no longer in clinical practice and most of my deadlines are self-imposed, it's definitely more difficult for me to stay on task. At any given time, I'll have a scrap paper to do list floating around my office or the kitchen, another one on a white board in my office, still another one on my PDA, synced to my computer.

It's a little crazy making, quite honestly, but it's the best I can do right now.

I've come to terms with the chaos that is my life currently, juggling writing time, managing the promotion of my debut novel, family responsibilities (life with teens is crazy at the best of times), and my elderly parents' health issues. It means that deadlines come in a lot of different flavors.  Some of them are want-to's: revision of an older novel so I can get it on my agent's TBR pile, brainstorming time for a sequel to THE BETWEEN. Some of them are have-to's: upcoming trip to Cleveland with Dad for a medical consultation. Others are routine tasks that seem as if they never quite finish: bills, laundry, returning phone calls.


Because my brain is almost always spinning in too many directions at once, I write down what I need to do and when I need to complete it where ever I happen to be.  Hence the multiplicity of to-do lists.

Ultimately, things get done. Lists get completed, crossed off, thrown out.

It's just not a pretty process.

Today’s post was inspired by the topic “Deadlines: Love’em or hate’em?”– May’s topic in the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour — an ongoing tour where you, the reader, travel around the world from author’s blog to author’s blog. We have all sorts of writers at all stages in their writing career, so there’s something for everyone to enjoy. 

Magpie Scribblings (oooh, shiny)

Magpie photo by Mundo, used under a cc license

According to Wikipedia, the Magpie is an "opportunistic omnivore".  That's how I see myself as a writer and a reader.  I'm a collector of interesting facts, information, and stories.  Like the Magpie, if it's 'shiny', then I want it.

When it comes to my writing, I can't point out any one influence that has informed me.  I find inspiration everywhere.  In poetry, songs, news stories, and novels. In landscapes and conversations.  In old, abandoned places and photographs. I read something and I look for what I can take back to my 'nest.'  Sometimes it's the sheer beauty of the language from a variety of sources from Shakespeare to Rumi to Patricia McKillip.  Sometimes it's the character and singular voice from Tamora Pierce's Terrier books, or Mira Grant's Newsflesh series.  Still others draw me to the lush and intricate world building found in Tolkien.

Travel has been a huge influence on my work.  Having access to other cultures and vistas opens me up to different stories, new narratives, fresh ways of combining what I know to what I am learning.  Our family's trip to central Asia several years ago continues to percolate in my imagination and I know that somewhere, it will push my work into new horizons.

That's one of the most exciting aspects of being a writer. 

Ultimately, I am the sum of all that I have read and heard and experienced. 

There is no way for me to look at my body of work and sort out each influence.  Nor do I think that's necessary.  Creativity cannot exist in a vacuum and we build on the work of those that have come before us.  It is my hope that future writers may count me amongst their influences and create magic for the readers and writers who come after us.



Today’s post is my contribution to the Merry-Go-Round from Forward Motion for Writers. This month’s shared topic is “My influences” prompt in the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour, an ongoing tour where you, the reader, travel around the world from author’s blog to author’s blog. 

Get to know nearly twenty other writers and find out their answers to each monthly prompt. 

There's No Place Like Home

My office, during the post-fire demolition, winter 2011

When my kids were rug-rats, this narrow, little room off our living room was their playroom. It was a hodgepodge of books, toys, games, and art supplies for about 12 years of our life in this house we've lived in for the past 19 years. When the kids got old enough that their 'toys' became gaming systems instead of matchbox cars, they took over the finished side of the basement.  I refer to it as 'the man pit.'  I claimed the room they no longer used as my office.

In the space that spans the windows, sat my enormous desk, bought 20 years ago at a furniture closeout sale where it fit a specific room in our former rented house.  Since this room is only 7 feet wide and the desk is over 3 feet wide, it make the long narrow space even narrower, but I've never minded.  I love being able to spread out the piles of papers and reference books I use when I'm writing.  And it's the only horizontal space in the house that belongs completely to me.

On the morning of our fire, the desk was there, my laptop open on top of it, doing its nightly automatic backup. When the firefighters answered the emergency call, they smashed all the windows with fire axes, sprinkling glass over every surface in the room.  Including my laptop.  When the house was safe to enter, the firefighters carefully closed my laptop and brought it to me.  While there was no direct fire damage in the office, they had closed the laptop with the glass inside it, grinding glass shards between screen and keyboard. Even if that had been the only damage, the fan had sucked in the oily smoke, killing the hard drive.

Fortunately, all I lost was my usual writing space and not all my writing.  (Dropbox is your friend, people.  Really.) Once we got a new laptop, I was back in business.

But it was a hard year, being displaced from home in into a cramped apartment with my family and no designated personal space. I still managed to fill notebooks with scribblings, found places to lug my laptop to and write, but when we moved back into our home and I was able to put my restored desk in its rightful place, well, then all was right with the world again.

Today’s post was inspired by the topic “My favorite writing place”– March’s topic in the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour — an ongoing tour where you, the reader, travel around the world from author’s blog to author’s blog. We have all sorts of writers at all stages in their writing career, so there’s something for everyone to enjoy. 

If you want to get to know nearly twenty other writers and find out their thoughts on crossing genre lines, check out the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour. You can find links to all of the posts on the tour by checking out the group site. Read and enjoy!

Procrastination=avoidance

"Each month, our participating authors from around the world agree to blog on a single topic throughout the month. By following the links in each month's post, you'll discover a whole bunch of new authors in a variety of genres, levels of experience, and styles of writing."

The Dreaded Porch Mess

Every month, on the 10th day, I take part on the Forward Motion for Writers Blog Tour. Every month, I get to the 10th and realize in utter panic, that I haven't thought of what to write for the monthly topic. Ironically, this month, the month when the topic is procrastination, I'm actually writing this post ahead of time.

I've been thinking a lot about procrastination lately, because I haven't been hitting my 1K/day goal on my current WIP, the YA Ghost Story in Progress, or what I affectionately refer to as the YAGSIP.

Now, if you asked my family, they'd tell you if procrastination was an olympic sport, I'd probably win the gold medal.  It's something I'm quite good at, if I may say so myself.  And here's the thing.  For me, it's really avoidance.  If there's something I don't want to do, it can find its way to the sub-basement of my to-do lists. And it's a vicious cycle.  The more I don't want to do something, the more I procrastinate on it, the more I *really* don't want to do that thing.

Right now, it's about emptying the screened in porch attached to my office. There are things in there that never got moved inside after our fire-renovation. It's not that I don't want the porch cleaned out, it's that I really just don't want to do it myself.  And the longer I avoid doing it, the worse and the harder the task feels, until it's become this impossible mountain to climb.  

If I just spent 20 minutes and did it, it would no longer have power over me. My rational mind knows this, and yet, I still find a thousand other things to do rather than the few things I really need to do.

I've hit the middle of this novel in progress.  I hate the middle of any book. It's like I've wandered into a swamp and the further I push, the thicker the mud gets, until I'm at a complete standstill.  I hate that feeling, so I avoid even opening the file.  Instead, I haunt FB, Twitter, and G+. I decided to focus on updating my Tumblr blog. I do endless research, all the while trying to fool myself that I'm doing important things.

I write endless to-do lists.  Not just on scraps of paper, but using clever programs and systems that never get me over my time-wasting procrastination. (Yes, I am aware that endless organizing *IS* procrastination.)

And yet, I do accomplish a lot.

Another irony:  Maybe it's this clash between what I want to do and what I need to do that helps me accomplish so many interesting things.  Things that never make it to my to-do list but are important and fulfilling in their own right.

Today, I sat down, turned off the wifi and wrote for a solid hour, pushing a little through the middle.  And in the next week, I absolutely will clear off the porch.  I have no choice.  A carpenter is coming to repair the broken screens and door frame.  It will feel utterly delightful to have the task completed, so why has it taken me a year to get to?

Head over to the Blog Tour main blog for other writers' takes on procrastination. Just doing my part to help you avoid!

My Ideal Reader: Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour

This month's topic for the FM Writers Merry-Go-Round blog tour is to explore your ideal reader.  It pretty much a perfect topic with perfect timing for me this month.  I've been participating in a lot of guest blog Q&A posts and 'who is your perfect reader?' is a question that has come up more than once.

I have struggled to answer it in a pithy, snappy way and I think the question does deserve serious consideration.

The bottom line is not everyone is going to love every book.  Not everyone is even going to want to read every book, no matter how well written it is.  If you don't like westerns, no amount of praise or recommendations are going to have you delve into the books of Larry McMurtry, books my husband adored.  He is also a big fan of techno-thrillers. While we often share books, these books usually make my eyes glaze over by about page 7. I am not the ideal reader for a techno thriller or a western.

With my debut coming out this week, I am prepared for a mixed bag of folks enjoying it and folks just not feeling the love.  It is nearly impossible to write the One Book to Rule them All. What I have written is a book aimed for teen and young adult readers, ideally with appeal to all genders.  I don't have a specific reader in mind when I sit down to write.  Rather, I write the books I wanted to read as a teen/young woman--books that speak to ordinary heroes finding and trusting their own power, set in a world with just a bit more magic than this one contains.

What are the characteristics of my ideal reader?

Perhaps the most important quality is the desire and the ability to be swept away into another world--that suspension of disbelief that is at the heart of any immersive experience. That is what I have always craved in my reading and what I look for in a book today.

It is the partnership between the reader and the writer that makes that experience come alive.  As a writer, I promise to do everything in my power to create a story where you can bring the power of your imagination.

If I succeed, then you are my ideal reader.


Want to see what a whole group of writers think about their ideal readers?  Take a look at the Merry-Go-Round blog tour hub.

Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour: Holidays

This month's topic for the Forward Motion Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour is Holidays.  I've been struggling to think of an angle to write about that connects with my writing, but I really couldn't come up with anything that seemed appropriate.  Then I reflected on all the Christmas lights in my neighborhood and remembered when my now 18 year old son realized that most people in our area were a different religion than we were.

I think this has relevance to my writing, particularly in terms of working with characters who feel outcast, different in any way.

I am not a deeply religious person.  With a last name like Cohen, it's pretty apparent that I am Jewish.  I do celebrate the major holidays, Rosh Hashonah, Yom Kippur, Passover, etc.  We light the candles for Hanukah.  I don't often think about living as a minority in a larger community of people who believe in a different faith except at Christmastime.

And it's almost always either in relation to seeing all the lights and displays or the insanity at the shopping malls

I actually love this time of year.  The lights make everything so lively and bright as the days get shorter and shorter.  I have always enjoyed helping friends decorate their Christmas trees.  I do have a problem with the relating of Christmas to Hanukah simply because they occur at the same time of the year.  Hanukah is a minor league holiday in the Jewish calendar.  It has little actual spiritual significance, at least not in comparison to the high holy days.  Certainly not anywhere near the importance of Christmas in the Christian faith.

When we lived in Southern Illinois many years ago, the people I worked with couldn't understand why we weren't going home for the holidays.  I couldn't explain to them that our holiday wasn't really that important and not one where families traditionally gather.  it was as if i was speaking an alien language.  They were only satisfied when we told them we would be able to get home for New Years.

The message for me as a writer is to understand how it feels to be a minority believer in a majority culture.  Holidays and cultural beliefs are a place for potential rich conflict and emotion and these are the elements that enrich stories.

Go to the Merry-Go-Round site for other FM Writers' interpretation of this month's holiday theme. 

Q & A with LJ

Well, I've done it again.  Realized a day late that *yesterday* was my Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour posting day.  Sigh.

This month's topic is a self-interview.  So here's my go at a Q & A of things about me you might want to know.  I wanted to do something pithy and ironic, but I don't have that sense of comic timing nor do I do irony well.  I figured I'd just go with my typical earnest, serious self.

Q: When did you know you wanted to be a writer?
A: I've always loved words.  Reading them as well as writing them.  For years and years, my dad had something I wrote in 1st grade folded up in his wallet.  It was a story using homonyms and I remember it had something to do with a new gnu.  I've been keeping a journal since childhood and putting my thoughts to paper (or now screen) has always come naturally to me.  Writing as a career wasn't something I really considered until I hit my 40s.

Q: Plotter or Pantser?
A:  Well, I'm about the least spontaneous person I know, so you might think I must love to outline every last detail of my work.  But the truth is, I think that dichotomy is somewhat of a false one.  While I don't think I could sit down and put pen to paper without any sort of road map, I also couldn't see writing the story once it was fully planned.  In reality, there is a balance in the writing between forcing the story to fit a plan and grabbing the tiger by the tail and riding it wherever it goes.  I believe both elements--planning and serendipity--are needed for the magic that is story. 

Q: Coffee or tea?
A: Both.  I never drank coffee until graduate school.  I was always a tea drinker.  Coffee was kind of a rite of passage to adulthood in my household and I got quite a lot of flack for not liking it.  Now I have to have my morning coffee.  It's as much a ritual as the need for caffeine.  But I still love my tea and that's what fuels my late afternoons, especially now as the weather is getting cooler.  I'm lucky enough to have a small tea shop in my home town that sells a wide variety of loose teas.

Q: Have you unpacked all your boxes yet?
A: No. Quit pestering me.   (We moved back home in August after a house fire that displaced us for nearly the whole year.  Yes, there are still sealed boxes in my office.)

Q: Do you write to music?  If so, what's on your writing playlist?
A: Sometimes yes, sometimes no.  Lately, I've been obsessing over Florence + the Machine and The National.  Placebo is good writing music too.  In order to listen to music as I write, I need to be so familiar with the song that I don't get caught up in the lyrics. That's why I can't write to new music.

Q: What's up with your new dog?
A: Sigh.  Dustin is a work in progress.  I had hoped Tigger would be a good influence on him.  Sadly, it's been the other way around.

Q: What are you working on now?
A: I'm splitting my time between developing a marketing plan for my first indi release (The Between, coming in January!) and continuing with novel number 7 ("YAGSIP"=YA ghost story in progress).  The past month has been a blur of learning about eBook formatting and typography for a print book.  One of the things I want to do is a long blogpost on the steps from finished manuscript to indi release.

If you have any other questions for me, just leave them in the comments.

To see what other Forward Motion writers on the tour have to say, return to the Merry-Go-Round page.