Where I've been; Where I'm headed

Could this be Rivendell?

It's been 3 weeks since I've posted something to this blog. That may be the longest stretch I've gone between entries in the more than 10 years I've been  blogging here. It's been a difficult time in my personal life as well as the public and political life of the nation and I'm sure I'm not the only one struggling to keep up.

Part of my personal difficulty, these past weeks (and months, to be honest) has been a series of upper respiratory infections that flared up my asthma to a point where I could barely function. Because the personal is political, I will say that because I have good health insurance and access to excellent medical care, I was able to get the diagnostic tests and medications I required to get well.

And I'm at a point where I'm breathing better than it's been in more than 5 years. The swelling in my ankles that had become a chronic thing is gone. My pulmonary function is up and I can walk up a flight of stairs or laugh at a joke without wheezing, coughing, and getting short of breath.

It means I'm walking more and doing more. I've lost 5 pounds in the past 2 months of my recovery, doing nothing more than just being normally active.

Coming to terms with having a chronic disease is as much finding the appropriate management as it is accepting that this is one's reality and baseline. A lot of the past few months has been making that mental adjustment.

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It's also been a time of change and opportunity.

About 6 months ago, I found this house, nestled in 54 acres of woods and meadows in Central Massachusetts. We worked on moving the financial equivalent of heaven and earth to make an offer. It took 6 months and there were several points along the way where the deal looked like it had fallen through. Last Friday was our closing. We are now the owners of this incredible house and property.

For now, and the foreseeable future, it will be a weekend/vacation home. I the next 5 - 7 years, it will be where we retire to.

I'm planning to run writing retreats there, as well. Stay tuned!

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On the writing front, PARALLAX is out with beta readers and I've already gotten some feedback. Nothing fatal, though I do have some work ahead of me. Which is as it always is. This is why I use beta readers. I'm still on track for a Summer release.

I received a lovely and well-balanced review of DREADNOUGHT AND SHUTTLE from Publishers Weekly a few days ago. Of course, I'll use the good stuff for my pull quote!

"Cohen continues to display her talents for engaging characters and a believable universe in her teen-friendly third Halcyone Space adventure. . . The admirably brave and übercompetent Dev shines as a stellar addition to the genre. . ."

It feels odd to be between writing projects, as it always does, though I'll be digging into edits soon enough and it gives me time to be at the ceramics studio more.

Oh, and if you'll be at Boskone in February, come find me! I have some great panels and it's always a lovely and thought-provoking con. Here's my schedule:

Katniss, Furiosa, Elsa, and Rey: The New Woman in SF/F Film

Friday 17:00 - 18:00, Harbor III (Westin)
They each made big impressions in big recent genre movies. What do these characters say about the current state of heroic female figures in our cinematic imaginings? What traditions do they uphold or subvert? What promise do they hold for our futures?

So You Wanna Be a Time Lord

Friday 19:00 - 20:00, Marina 4 (Westin)
The time for a new Time Lord is fast approaching. Peter Capaldi is on his third season, which means his stint as The Doctor is likely nearing an end. We've seen speculation about casting the next Doctor, but maybe Capaldi isn't ready to go, especially since his character is starting to gel. What are our hopes for the future? Do we want to keep Capaldi? Whom would we like next? Maybe we can even ask our panelists why they might make a good Time Lord....

Reading by L.J. Cohen

Saturday 12:30 - 13:00, Independence (Westin)

From Maladies to Medicine

Saturday 14:00 - 15:00, Harbor III (Westin)
Panelists share tips and tricks on how to realistically injure and heal your characters. Learn what questions to ask when it comes to the effects of specific injuries. Hear how certain modern and ancient medical practices and medicines can help with healing. Find out how authors make their characters’ pain and recovery feel real and relatable.

Boskone Book Party

Saturday 18:30 - 19:30, Galleria - Stage (Westin)
Join us for Boskone's Book Party! See what's just out from authors you love, and discover new favorites.

When Is It a Gimmick?

Sunday 10:00 - 11:00, Marina 3 (Westin)
Story gimmicks often seem like good ideas at the time — but instead of applause, they get eye-rolls. What is a gimmick, exactly? Are they all created equal? We'll discuss common gimmicks, identifying traits, and ways to transform them into truly fresh ideas.

Autographing: L.J. Cohen, Tamora Pierce, Tui Sutherland, Christine Taylor-Butler

Sunday 11:00 - 12:00, Galleria - Autographing (Westin)


#SWFApro

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Editing out Loud

The joy of watching your editor read and react to your manuscript on twitter:

"The irony was thicker than the pollution that swirled overhead and just as choking."

YES. #Dreadnought&Shuttle #amediting @lisajanicecohen

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 16, 2016

I spend a lot of time crafting individual metaphors that carry the world through the characters' points of view. To me, that is the power of deep POV, where the author's voice fades into the background, even in the narration. I don't always achieve it, but it's one of my primary goals.

"The orange of worry streaked through her voice." Neural implant. Nanoemitters. Synesthesia to the Nth degree. Love this boy. #amediting

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 16, 2016

Writing a character who acquires synesthesia was a challenge and one that I really enjoyed. I have a touch of synesthesia, in that things I process through my eyes and ears also often have a kinesthetic impact. e.g., loud voices can hurt my skin. And when I get the words right in something I'm writing, I feel them fit with the sense of jigsaw pieces snicking together. It's weird, but it's always been that way for me.

"She had as much respect for containment as a nuclear meltdown." ZING. Micah's not impressed. #amediting #DreadnoughtAndShuttle

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 16, 2016

"Even if everything else was venting atmosphere, at least he'd found a friend." I love how @lisajanicecohen recasts sayings. #amediting

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 16, 2016

Just a few changed words to fit the setting, and it's a new saying entirely -- but it's not, because we know it. From before. LOVE it.

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 16, 2016

"Out of the wormhole and into the supernova."

Familiar, but new. #amediting @lisajanicecohen #DreadnoughtAndShuttle

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 17, 2016

 It's so gratifying to see Karen pick out those turns of phrase that I crafted for the characters and their world. She also noticed that the one character who'd spent her whole life on Earth doesn't use space-based sayings. A perceptive editor is a thing of beauty!

OMG The way Greek mythology ties into this YA SF story is AAAAHHHHHH! SO COOL! It was there before, but just now OH MY GOD #amediting

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 17, 2016

Believe me when i tell you THAT was a much-needed spot of levity in a VERY tense spot in the story. The pacing KILLS. #amediting

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 17, 2016

 Pacing is one of those issues I nearly always get wrong in the first draft. In particular, I accelerate as I'm working through a novel, so my ending half seems to abrupt. Because it's something I know about at the outset, it's something I spend a lot of time on in the revision before it gets to the editor.

LOVE this. Not merely "bring him up to speed."

"Bring him up to cruising velocity."#amediting @lisajanicecohen #DreadnoughtAndShuttle

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 18, 2016

Also, not merely "we're so screwed."

"We are so spaced."

If it's REALLY bad, "we are so spaced without air."

Little tweaks, BIG results.

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 18, 2016

 #HappyAuthorIsHappy

The words have appeared before (it's a children's game), but this time they really resonated for me. YAY. #DreadnoughtAndShuttle

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 18, 2016

 This book is the first of mine that had a title long before the first words appeared. It emerged from something I created in book 1 - I needed a game that kids in a spacefaring society would play that was less generic than Hide and Go Seek, and more relevant to their world than Rock/Paper/Sissors, and have greater connection to their culture than using 'Cat and Mouse' as an expression.

"Don't underestimate the power of adrenaline and stupidity, soldier."

For me, that encapsulates this character's world view. #amediting

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 22, 2016

Folks don't get thrown under the bus in the HALCYONE SPACE series.

They get thrown under the afterburners. #DreadnoughtAndShuttle

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 22, 2016

Oooh, now Ro and Emma are going head to head.

"It's not about whose plasma rifle is the longest."

BOOM. #amediting #DreadnoughtAndShuttle

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 22, 2016

Folks don't "cross that bridge when they come to it" in HALCYONE SPACE.

They traverse that wormhole.

Little touches are so important!

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 22, 2016

"No reverse in a wormhole."

Ain't that the truth. I see @lisajanicecohen has started brainstorming Book 4. GOOD. #DreadnoughtAndShuttle

— Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 22, 2016

 It's not necessary that your editor like your story to do a good job in the editing, but I'm not going to lie - seeing her reaction really thrilled me and took a lot of my writerly insecurity off the table. And let me tell you, it doesn't matter how many books you've written, you get to a place where you think everything is crap somewhere in the process. Objectivity? Yeah, right. What objectivity?

So having an outside source enjoy the story helps to keep those particular devils at bay.

DREADNOUGHT AND SHUTTLE is on track to be out in the world summer of 2016. Stay tuned!

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The essential purpose of feedback

Let no page escape unscathed.. .

I'm a writer. Which means I spend a lot of time alone in my head. While I am almost never lonely with the company of my imaginary friends, it can lead to living in a creative vacuum.

It's extremely difficult to both draft a story and objectively assess that story. One process needs the red hot fire of creation; the other needs a cold, dispassionate assessment.

That is one of the reasons solid writing advice always includes 'turn off your inner editor' when writing. I have more or less made my peace with my internal editor. She is usually awake and alert while I write and lets me know she's waiting for the draft to be finished before she tears it apart.

And I can be, if not dispassionate about my own writing, at least willing to admit it will need work. Hard work. And I'm willing to do that work.

I've been told I am a glutton for punishment when it comes to critique. I seek it out on each and every project I work on. Some of my early readers are my fellow writers, some are incisive readers. Regardless of where I receive my feedback, I take it very seriously and I am grateful for it, even if sometimes it hurts to accept.

No one wants to know their creation has flaws, even as we know that it does. (Silly humans and their denial!)

This week has brought me to a place where I had to accept feedback I really didn't want, but knew I needed on two different projects.

One is a novel that I originally wrote in 2006/7. I revised it at least twice, had a close call with a small publisher, then closed the folder on my laptop and moved to other things. But the potential of that manuscript has always nagged at me and I worked with a developmental editor to try to give it a new life. She wrote up 20 pages of notes that I put away because I was enmeshed in other projects. Until last week. I've been working through the story, reading and re-reading her notes, and trying to bring the story to my current abilities. (Thankfully, I can see how much better I am as a writer, instead of simply cringing about how I think this book stinks.)

Much of her commentary is spot on and makes sense. Some I don't agree with, but that's the author's prerogative. It does mean that I have to examine what I don't agree with and understand why. But that's also part of my job and I do enjoy this process.

I also have a short story in process that's due for an anthology project and has a drop dead deadline that is fast approaching.

Short stories are not my forte. Especially not ones that need to be between 5,000 and 10,000 words. I seem to be able to naturally write either really short - poetry and very tight short stories or novel length. Just not anything in between. But this one needed to be written. Again, it's part of the job of the writer and I do recognize the need to push out of my comfort zone. That's where growth happens.

I put out a call on G+ for beta readers for the story and many of my readers offered their time. I am extremely grateful to them. There are days where I wake up and realize 'hey! I'm a writer. And I have fans! Holy shit!' 

So back to feedback.

Yesterday, I received and was able to internalize several sets of critical feedback on both the manuscript and the story. And by critical, I mean in all senses of the word. Critically important. And critical as in deconstructing and assessing.

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These are paraphrases (for both projects):

Why did you skip the scene where your main character has to react to realizing she's just been manipulated again and start with her waking up the next morning? This is a bad habit of yours in that you constantly 'pull your punches' on the emotionally difficult parts. 

I didn't like it, sorry. So while well written I didn't buy the plot. The sudden change at the end didn't stack up with anything we know about the character.

The pace was off. A bit of a rough start.

I wasn't hooked at all. ( -- that was from my husband! Ouch!)

Here's what's not working for me: We don't really know what's at stake for G. I think the problem is that the story is told chronologically  and it reads too much like a novel. Reader expectations are very different for a short story. Give us cause to worry about G right from the beginning.

Full disclosure: I did whine and stomp my feet (metaphorically, of course) in getting this feedback. But I'm a big girl and I put on my big girl pants and did what I needed to do. I took a deep breath and went back to work. For the manuscript, I added scenes and chapters showing the characters reacting in real time to difficult situations. For the short story, I cut nearly a third of it that I recognized was 'throat clearing' and rearranged the rest to start with the stakes. I also filled the plot holes that made the main character's actions implausible.

And sent the new version out for a few test readers. My husband gave me the thumbs up. A reader friend did as well.

Here's the interesting thing: I didn't make enormous changes to the bones of the plot. I just listened to what wasn't working for the readers and let my editor brain free to do her work based on objective feedback, instead of running around in circle in my own head.

When I was a young writer, I never wanted to 'sully' my creative endeavors with feedback. What emerged from my muse was sparkling and perfect and right. Any revision would only ruin it. If someone didn't like it, they simply didn't understand it. The act of creation wasn't work; it was waiting for inspiration to flow through me and onto the page.

It is any wonder that I didn't write anything of substance until I was in my 40s? That's when I finally understood the essentially relationship between art and craft and had matured enough to be willing to do what it took to be better.

So, I will end this by saying thank you to my colleagues and my readers who are willing to be honest and push me to be the writer I aspire to be. I am grateful.

Thank you.

#SFWApro
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"I never look back darling. . . "

So, I've been looking back. But it's because I have to. DERELICT is being produced as an audiobook and as part of that process, I need to listen to each chapter and compare it to what is written. I'm checking for missing words, incorrect pronunciations, anything that is not clear. It's inevitable that with 90,000 words to read, there will be errors, just as there are inevitable typos in the written version.

I'm now about 2/3 of the way through the audiobook files.

It's weird listening to someone else read and interpret your story. It's especially weird if you're not a person who tends to listen to audiobooks or doesn't enjoy being read to.

I'm mostly over that discomfort. Part of that is how much I love listening to Bill Burrow's lovely and resonant voice.

The hard part is actually listening to the story and resisting the urge to make changes to it. I started drafting DERELICT in the summer of 2012. I finished it 6 months later. It went through four revision rounds over the following year and a half, to a completed final book that was published in June of 2014.

It was a good story. A solid story. It was ready for publication. And it was the best I could create at the time.

However, between the time I drafted DERELICT and now, I wrote two other novels and revised a third. With each book I write, I learn to be a better writer. That is the nature of artistic work: you change, you grow, you improve.

It is extremely hard not to want to go back and re-write DERELICT. But that way lies madness. I will change obvious typos, but nothing beyond that. I know other writers feel differently, but I believe to make significant changes in what should be a fixed work is unfair to its past readers.

So I work to channel my inner 'Edna' "I never look back, darling, it detracts from the now."

There are small things I would have handled differently in DERELICT if I knew then what I know now - primarily because at the time, I hadn't been planning to write a series. (Note to self: next time, keep better world building notes. Your future-you will thank you for it.) Some things I would change because my ear is now 'tuned' more precisely and there are sentence structures I would smooth out here and there. Other things I would do differently, planning ahead for an audiobook version.

All I can do is take this knowledge and apply it to the next book and the next one after that.

DERELICT is still a good story. I'm proud of it. I can even listen to it without wincing. Many, many readers were moved by it. And soon, it will be an audiobook. Which is very, very cool.

And in a few months, ITHAKA RISING will be its companion. From where I stand now, the sequel is a stronger book. I hope than when I look back in another year or so, I'll wish I could make changes to that one, too.

Because that will mean I'm continuing to grow as a writer.

From the reader's perspective, what do you think of the ability for the author to change a story 'on the fly' as it were?

If you are a writer, would you do so? 

#SFWApro
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Time and Tithe . . . Waits for no Man

Edit flags on the hard copy of Time and Tithe

I took a hairpin turn from drafting DERELICT book 2 to return to TIME AND TITHE two weeks ago when my lovely beta readers began to return feedback on the revised manuscript.

I recruited a mix of readers - some who had not read the earlier book, THE BETWEEN, because it was important for me to know if I'd done a good enough job with the bread-crumbs so that someone could pick up book 2 and not be confused.

The good news was that I had gotten it almost right.

The better news was their feedback helped me push it even closer.

I've spent the better part of the past two weeks making small tweaks, expanding some chapters, and cleaning out cliches and repetition because the manuscript had a date with its editor in November.

Well, it's November. And besides that deadline, I'm heading out to a writing conference this afternoon that will have me pretty busy until Friday night, so I knew I needed to get the manuscript cleaned up for this morning.

And I did it.

I hope I managed to make the story work. Sequels are always a challenge. And hopefully, my editor won't be cursing me over the next few weeks.

Now I get to return to the SF world of DERELICT after two weeks immersed in the world of the Fae and glamour. My brain is certainly a strange place.

See you on the flip side!

2013 - The Year that Was

So it's that time, again. Time to take stock of what I accomplished in the past twelve months in relation to what I had hoped to accomplish. Time to look ahead to the New Year and anticipate what it will bring.

I have made these year end round-up posts every year since 2007. ( 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012. God-willing and the river don't rise, I will continue to make them, moving forward into the future.

When I look back at my yearly reviews, I am humbled by my ambitions. I very rarely accomplish everything I set out to do, but I don't consider that a failure. Instead, I also look at what I have accomplished and find cause for celebration.

These were my plans for 2013:

• Revise/edit the ghost story (which really, really needs a title) and DERELICT
• Brainstorm with Nephele regarding what to write next/continue to align goals with the aim of publication
• Complete and publish the Ultimate SF&F Workshop Anthology
• Write 4-6 new short stories

 So, dear readers, how did I do?

1. Revised and edited DERELICT, and it is currently now on submission through Nephele Tempest, my agent.
   
2. Along with my co-editor, Talib Hussain, I released PEN-ULTIMATE: A SPECULATIVE FICTION ANTHOLOGY at Readercon 2013. As this was conceived as a charity project, we are thrilled to have already made our first donation to the SFWA emergency medical fund.
   
3. One of my short stories was included in the THEME-THOLOGY: INVASION anthology.
   
4. Wrote 1 new short story and revised three others. (Short stories are hard!)
   
5. Working with a developmental editor, finished a complete 'renovation' of a trunked novel, now named OATHBREAKER'S PRICE, an alternate-world fantasy. It is now being read by an acquiring editor of a small press.
   
6. First draft: I am approximately 2/3 to 3/4 through the first draft of the as-yet unnamed sequel to THE BETWEEN.
   
7. Close to 80  blog posts between Once in a Blue Muse Blog and guest posts for other writing sites.
   
8. Poetry: a dozen or so poems
   
9. Enjoyed being part of the programs for both Boskone and Readercon in 2013 and am looking forward to my participation in 2014.

So, all in all, this was a very productive year. I have a lot planned for 2014 and it has the possibility of being a very exciting year!

• Forging ahead in a hybrid path to publication, while my agent is actively submitting DERELICT, I will be independently publishing several novels, including a YA fantasy, FUTURE TENSE in early 2014 and readying THE BETWEEN's sequel by the end of 2014.
  
• I look forward to the chance to experience working with a small press on OATHBREAKER'S PRICE. If the manuscript is not picked up by the press, I will publish it under Interrobang Books sometime mid-year.
  
• I will be joining a group writing blog with several amazing and talented ladies, but I can't tell you about it yet. :) But don't worry, Once in a Blue Muse Blog will still be my main blogging home.
  
•  I am dipping my toes into a collaborative middle grade project with a writer I've worked with from Google+. Again, I can't divulge the details yet, but I'm excited about working on something so different from my usual writing fare.
  
• With the skills I have developed in full-contact revision, I will be assessing one of my early high fantasy novels for its resurrection potential while the next novel finds me.

Have a great 2014, one and all.

When the Shoe is on the Other Foot: An Editor Speaks

Photo by Holaday98, used with attribution, cc license

Please give a warm welcome to the inimitable Rebecca (RJ) Blain, the unfortunate victim wonderful developmental editor I hired to help me transform one of my trunk novels into something readable. I've blogged about it from my perspective here and here, as well as on many agonized status updates on G+.

Well, fair is fair, and I've invited Rebecca to tell us her side of the story. I had long suspected I was not an *easy* client to work with and Rebecca certainly confirmed that. But she (and I) seemed to survive the process. I know my writing is far better for it.

So without further ado, I give you RJ Blain:

Working with Lisa

When I recently asked Google+ if anyone was interested in me writing a guest post for them, Lisa Cohen grabbed her Red Sox cap, stuffed it on her head, cocked the brim to the side, and came up to bat. I had just finished writing a post about one of my other clients, and she had read it.

She wanted to know what it was like working with her, from an editorial perspective. She’s written about my experiences working with her several times, usually painting me as an evil dentist or a construction worker who has gone on some sort of terrible rampage. I find this sort of thing hilarious, and she knows it.

My name is RJ Blain, and I have survived editing for Lisa Cohen. I should have this made into a t-shirt.

Every writer is different, and most of the time, Lisa is a gem to work with. She’s normally patient. She’s normally laid back. She’s normally eager and willing to take a machete to her words. She works hard. She expects me to work hard, and is understanding of the fact that working hard sometimes means working longer and harder to get a job done.

She asked me not long after I had finished combing through her manuscript how many hours I had spent working on her novel. It’s a pretty common question among my editing clients. My go-to answer is that it, on average, takes me 80 hours to completely work through a novel. This counts the first editing run, the second read through and editing run, the time it takes me to email with clients, the time I spend hooing and humming as I edit, and the time I invest talking with them over IM to help them hammer out plot problems and the kin.

After doing some math, I figure Lisa’s edits were in the ballpark of 120 hours.

Lisa is normally a lot of things, but when it comes to her writing, she can be exceptionally stubborn. This isn’t a bad thing, but sometimes, I had to buckle up and be extremely patient as she worked her way through the thought process.

Writers often need to come to their conclusions on their own. No matter how often I explain something, if the writer doesn’t follow the line of logic and come to the conclusion I came to with, they won’t take my suggestions seriously. If I force it down their throats, they won’t take it seriously. It’s a hard line to toe, but if I manage it, I get to watch, first hand, how much a novel can improve.

Lisa is stubborn. In the grand scheme of clients, she’s one of the most stubborn I’ve worked with. She goes in with a set vision, and things that go outside of that vision need a great deal of thought – and explanation from me.

And a patient ear as she works out her frustrations when things she thought were strong could be made a lot stronger, and so on.

One thing I really liked about working with Lisa was her openness to talk about the editing process from her perspective. A lot of writers go into editing without really knowing what to expect. This can lead to some unpleasant surprises. Many writers don’t understand that different types of editors have different strengths. Some writers don’t understand that it can sometimes take two, three, or maybe even more editors to make a novel really strong. I’m not a copy or proofing editor. When I do my developmental editing work, I do pick apart an author’s writing style as I make suggestions on how to improve their use of language. Unlike a copy or proofing editor, I don’t adhere to a single style guide. My focus is more on reader impact than style guide perfection.

In a way, I think Lisa got more than she bargained for, when I blended the character and plot development work with stylistic suggestions and improvements.

It’s a lot to digest. And, I think, because Lisa is inherently stubborn, she was able to bite off more than she could chew without choking on it.

Writing a novel is easy. Any person who has basic control of language can sit down and write a book. Editing, however, is hard work.

Working with Lisa was a pleasure, because she understood that from the very beginning. I didn’t have to try to teach her that fundamental lesson, which meant I could focus on my work without her becoming too overwhelmed by the amount of work I was throwing her way.

Lisa likes to say I really helped her improve her writing. That’s not true. She helped herself improve her writing. I just gave her a road map and some directions.

All I did was point out the weaknesses and flaws while also giving her tips and tricks to overcome them.

She was the one who did all of the work.

Aww, shucks, ma'am. . .  Thank you, Rebecca! I'm glad I didn't break your brain during our wranglings. :) As I've said before, working this way with an editor isn't for every writer. A good developmental editor (and Rebecca is very, very good) will challenge all your assumptions in the way a smart-ass two year old will, with her incessant 'why's. While you may be tempted to resort to the 'because I'm the author, that's why!', in the end that answer works as poorly for your novel as for your toddler. If you're willing to challenge yourself and your own writing and are able to leave your ego at the door, then I highly recommend this process. You will reap benefits far beyond the particular manuscript you offer up for editing.

Pen-Ultimate!

Original artwork for the Pen-Ultimate cover by Chris Howard

 

A year ago at Readercon 2012, I was sitting in a hotel restaurant with several years of my fellow graduates of the Ultimate SF Workshop taught in the Boston area by Jeff Carver and Craig Shaw Gardner. As I looked around the large table, it struck me how talented a group of writers we were and I mumbled something about how we really should put together an anthology.

So I guess that meant I volunteered myself and along with my partner-in-anthology, Talib Hussain, (another hapless volunteer!) began to organize what would, a year later, become PEN-ULTIMATE: A SPECULATIVE FICTION ANTHOLOGY.

After a several month submission/reading period, the eleven stories that make up this anthology went through a cross-critique and revision process that very much honored the workshop model that we practiced with Jeff and Craig.

The project is coming together because of the work of many talented and hard-working individuals and I am proud to have my name associated with it. We are working towards a July 11th official publication date, to correspond with the start of Readercon 2013 and all proceeds from the anthology sale (both print and eBook) will be donated to the SFWA emergency medical fund.

Stay tuned for links and more information!

Writing Update

It's been a while since I've done a writing round-up post, so here is what I'm up to:

1--I'm in the frenzied ending phase of co-editing a short story anthology. The idea emerged from a dinner I attended last year at Readercon with a bunch of the 'graduates' of a local SF&F writers workshop called The Ultimate Science Fiction Workshop, run by Jeff Carver and Craig Shaw Gardner. When I looked around the table at all of the marvelously talented writers sitting there, I decided we needed to showcase our work. So I said something and no one told me it was a dumb idea. :) (This is how I end up involved in projects--no one around me talks me out of them!)

PEN-ULTIMATE: A SPECULATIVE FICTION ANTHOLOGY will be out in paperback and eBook mid July. And all the proceeds are being donated to the SFWA emergency medical fund.

2--I'm currently serializing an alternate-world fantasy novel called OATHBREAKER'S PRICE. It represents a deep "renovation" of a trunk novel I wrote several years ago. I've been working with developmental editor par excellence, Rebecca (RJ) Blain 

What is posted represents a pen-ultimate revision before the final edits that will be incorporated into a final draft for publication. (Any errors that remain will be due to my stubbornness, not any fault of Rebecca's) You can follow the serial--new chapters posted every Monday and Friday--in two places:

Blogger (easy to subscribe via RSS or email, send to kindle button on each chapter, TOC right sidebar)
Wattpad  (easy to follow, read on multiple devices)

3--DERELICT, The SF novel I serialized earlier in the year, has been revised and is with my agent in preparation for submission. You can read the draft version on Blogger or Wattpad. There are other stories waiting to be told in Ro Maldonado's universe and I can't wait to get to them!

4--I'm in the planning stages (at long last!) for the sequel to THE BETWEEN, my YA Fantasy debut title. I might even be persuaded to serialize it, as I'm writing it. :) Though that does feel a little like high wire walking without a net.

So, what are you working on in your corner of the universe?

What's the Happy Haps?

Playing with clay when I'm not playing with words

I don't know why, but I love the expression "happy haps". It's fun to say and it has a nice little rhythm to it. It's something I heard my teenagers say and have stolen, much to their chagrin. If Mom uses it, it can no longer be cool/hip/boss or whatever the current slang is for something interesting.

So what's going on in my writing life right now?

Actually, not a lot.

I finished the revision of DERELICT and sent it off to my agent 2 weeks ago. If she signs off on it, the manuscript will be on its way to a wonderful editor I had the pleasure of meeting at Boskone a few months ago. (And hopefully several other editors as well!)

While that's in process, I've been serializing a 'renovation' of an older novel called OATHBREAKER'S PRICE, an alternate-world fantasy story. (Links to the serialization on the right hand sidebar.)

I feel like I've spent the past 3 months in revision/edit mode. Shifting gears to new writing feels awkward. Partly that's because we've just been through a very stressful time in the life of our family, partly it's because I don't do change very gracefully, partly because I am not sure what I'll be writing next, novel-wise.

And you know what? That's okay. The creative mind needs fallow time to recharge. While I'm waiting for my next story to claim me, I'll be working in the ceramics studio and watching the garden grow.

Today’s post was inspired by the topic “Current projects”– May’s topic in the Merry-Go-Round Blog Tour — an ongoing tour where you, the reader, travel around the world from author’s blog to author’s blog. You can find links to all of the posts on the tour by checking out the group site.

Suck it up, Cupcake

Suck it up, Cupcake.

That's what I kept telling myself when all I wanted to do was stick my fingers in my ears and tell the developmental editor, 'La-la-la-I can't hear you."

I knew the old WIP I asked her to look at needed work. What I didn't let myself believe was how MUCH work it needed.

Some of you may have heard me say this before, but it was less revision than gut-renovation. As in taking the house down to the studs and rebuilding.

The ground floor of our house, demolition phase, after the fire, 2011

It can be done. It's just a painful process.

I don't think there was a single line where Rebecca didn't have a comment. Ouch!

This is what it looked like. And these were just the first 2 pages. After 3 chapters, she wrote 3 pages of extensive editorial notes. In red. Ouch and ouch!

I'll be honest. I pouted. I whined. I argued. I'm not proud of my behavior. But I sucked it up and did the work.

Then I re-did it.

And re-did it again.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

It took me about 3 weeks and at least 4 or 5 retries at the beginning, but finally something clicked and with the right foundation, I could start the rebuild.

Now, 2 months later, (and about 10 months faster than my house renovation process took, btw!) I have the revision complete.

Is it perfect?

Of course not. Now is when we start (to push the analogy) the punch list. When I've had some time/space away from the story, I'll send it back for round 2 with the editor. If I've done my work well enough, her work will be to help me put the final shine to it, without any more significant structural tear-down. 

In the interest of showing my process, warts and all, here is the original first page, followed by the revision.

ORIGINAL

Lilliane bolted upright at the touch on her arm. Her blanket fell away and she shivered as much from the cold as from the familiar dream--her mother’s body cooling, the spreading pool of blood, her newborn brother’s cry.

"Healer Tor, they need you in the infirmary," a soft voice whispered. A young boy, dressed in runner's black stood beside her.

Blinking, she tried to force him into focus as the dream receded and her heart’s pounding slowed. She rubbed gritty eyes and stretched the sore muscles of her lower back. It had been well past midnight when she’d stumbled into the on-duty room. That couldn’t have been more than a few hours ago.

"Who?" she whispered, mindful of the other healers sleeping in cots around them. The boy shrugged. Lilliane sighed, running her fingers through sleep-tangled hair. Why couldn’t it have been someone else’s patient. She pulled on slippers and cloak and plodded after the runner through the guild hall’s silent corridors to the infirmary. It was hard not to be jealous as the boy retreated back to his still-warm bunk.

Squaring her shoulders, she walked inside. Men in mottled brown and tan garb stood out against the infirmary’s white walls. Lilliane frowned at the soldiers who formed a cordon around the examination table in the center of the room. Her aunt Kayla leaned close to a senior apprentice, her voice low and insistent, tension in the set of her shoulders.

Lit sconces pulled reflections from the polished steel of short swords and daggers. They were between her and her patient.

 REVISION

     Lilliane waited for her turn to wash, the coppery tang of blood stinging her nose and the back of her throat. The muscles in her lower back twinged as she stretched. Their patient would live to drink and fight another day, his blind luck in having an assailant with a knife who managed to miss all of his vital organs and make a dramatic mess instead.

     At least she hadn't failed him.

     Davyn peeled off his spattered over-tunic and kicked it towards the basket beneath the basin. Hers had soaked clear through to her undergarments and hung wet and heavy against her. She shuddered in the cold stone room as Davyn slipped on a clean, dry tunic and turned, examining her as if she were one of his patients.

     "I'm fine," she said, stiffening her body to keep from shivering.

     "You're a bad liar."

     Aching for a cup of healer's tea, she brushed past him and tore off her bloody layers, ignoring the feel of his gaze on her bare spine. Rubbing her hands under the spigot, she watched the blood swirl down the drain in a lazy spiral and scrubbed between her fingers until her skin burned.

     A baby's cry echoed against the stone walls of the infirmary and her heart stuttered. A flow of hot blood sheeted from her useless hands. She bit the inside of her cheek, struggling not to cry out.

     "Lilli?" Davyn's concern washed over her.

     She stared down at her hands: They were clean and dripping with warm water, not blood, the nails bitten down to the quick, the cuticles ragged. There was no wailing infant here tonight. Their patient had been a drunk who lost a fight, not a mother hemorrhaging out her life as Lilliane struggled to stanch the flow and her little sister screamed.

 

If you'd like to read the revision, I have begun to serialize the fantasy novel, now titled OATHBREAKER'S PRICE, 1-2 chapters a week on Wattpad.

Serial Woes

When I serialized my first draft of DERELICT on Wattpad and on its own blog, I had no idea what to expect. My first draft process is generally a very private one. If I show it to anyone, I may share a scene or three or use my husband as a plot sounding board, but beyond that, it's between me, my strange subconscious, and my laptop.

But I'm never one for complacency in my process and I saw this experiment in public accountability as a way to shake up my writing a bit. Plus, DERELICT was something different than I'd been writing and I saw the serialization process as sending up a trial balloon.

All in all, I really enjoyed seeing readers get engaged and really enjoy the story.

(Aside and an update: It's been revised and is currently with my agent, in preparation for submission. An editor at one of the big SF&F publishers I met at a recent conference asked for it--not saying more than that, lest I jinx things!)

Which brings me to my problem.

I have a 'trunk' novel (e.g., the early novel you stuff into a trunk under your bed because it should never, ever see the light of readership) that I'm now completely renovating. (No, that's not a typo or wrong word. Have you ever done a gut renovation of an old house? That's what this process is like. Tear down to the studs. Rebuild.)

I have an entirely new first 25% and a solid plan for integrating what worked of the original storyline. And I'd love to serialize the story as I rework it.

BUT, I don't have a title.

Well, I had a title, but I never liked the title. It didn't fit when I first drafted the novel and it doesn't work now. I can't serialize an unnamed story. The 411 on the fantasy-story-with-the-unsatisfying-name:

Lilliane Tor, a renowned empathic healer from Rimland, learns the cost of keeping her oath when she saves the life of Jahnissim Hal Zev, a member of the nomadic and insular Tisreen and becomes entangled in a diplomatic nightmare. A fugitive from her own land, and in search of her missing sister, she escapes to Tisreen with Zev and enters a bewildering world of a rigid religion and culture, where women's roles are tightly controlled and political disputes are settled on the edge of a blade. And where hudessh, or The Divine Obligation, is as binding as any healer's oath.

That Zev owes his life to a woman, and one who doesn't follow his beliefs challenges the foundations of his identity. When he finds evidence of an illegal slave trade poisoning the heart of both their countries, Zev must learn to trust Lilliane, working with her against a common evil. Their quest to unravel the truth, rescue Lilliane's sister, and expose the trade threatens their lives, the stability of two governments, and the core of their own beliefs about one another.

A few questions:
1--would you be interested in reading it?
2--what do I call this blasted thing???

Every day is an act of faith

photo by me: seen in my travels

This was the sign outside a church near my bank. I had to stop, dig out my iPod and snap a photograph. Something in the saying: "The universe will reward you for taking risks on its behalf" really spoke to me and it's taken me more than a week to figure out why.

I'm not sure how much of a risk-taker I am by nature. Certainly people who know me would describe me as cautious--a thinker more than a doer. Spontaneous is just not a part of my inborn nature, though I love to have friends around me who are spontaneous.

And yet, I take risks every day in my writing. I risk myself in this blog space, by sharing my inner thoughts, by being honest and open. Anyone could stumble across this blog and read about my life. Surely, there is something of the risk-taker in me.

If a risk is doing something, even if you can't predict the outcome, then every choice is a risk. But I think it's more than that. I think to be willing to take a risk is to be willing to walk forward into the unknown with some degree of joy and anticipation in addition to the fear.

And really, isn't that what we do every day?

I have been thinking of my teenage sons. My eldest, a 19 year old college student, is in the UK for the next two weeks. While he's traveled quite a lot through the US and abroad, this is his first trip on his own. I'm sure he's a little nervous. He's encountering so many things for the first time as he moves into the adult world.

But here's the thing: so am I.

I've never been the parent of a 19 year old before. I don't have a map or a guide to know how to parent an emerging adult. As new as it is for him, it's also new for me. When I realized this, I started laughing. It meant that it was okay if I didn't know all the answers--not in my parenting, not in my writing.

I am doing things I never, ever dreamed I'd be doing. I just finished editing and revising my 8th novel. In the process, I opened myself up to an editorial process that made me feel as awkward and as tentative as a beginner again. It was a huge creative and personal risk and yet I took it, eagerly (though I may have had a few inner tantrums along the way).

Now, having completed the revision and the difficult work with a tough-love editor, not only is the story better, but I am a stronger writer. I took the risk because to choose the safe and predictable course will not lead to growth and change: it leads to creative death.

Children have some great advantages over adults: they don't expect to know everything. They don't expect to be experts. They don't expect to be perfect. But somewhere along the way, we delude ourselves into believing our growing days are over. That all the risk in our lives is outside of us and something to be managed or tamed.

It doesn't work that way. Especially not for artists and creators.

Embracing risk and the possibility of change is the hard work of living. There are no shortcuts. There is only the work and the stubborn insistence we have of taking another step forward into uncertainty.

At least with root canal, you get anaesthesia

Photo by Victor Keegan, used under a CC license, with attribution

I've had to have a lot of restorative dentistry in my adult life, thanks to really poor dental care as a child, so when I tell you I know all about the dubious joys of root canal, I am telling the truth.

But I think a root canal is preferable to the nearly unbearable torture I not only am willingly putting myself through, but paying for the privilege.

Yes, good people, I'm talking about working with an editor.

Well, how can that be painful, you might ask. It's just spelling and punctuation and grammar, (oh my!) right?

Not.
So.
Much.

That, my dear ones, is copy editing. A relatively painless endeavor, on par with getting one's teeth cleaned at an annual dental visit. When it's finished, with the one you have a sparkling smile, with the other, a clean manuscript, free of egregious clerical errors.

The editing that I'm talking about is story or developmental editing. When a sadistic highly skilled reader and wordsmith puts a stake in the heart of your story gives you the feedback as to where your story is and isn't working, tearing apart analyzing plot, character, tension, pacing, stakes, structure, and writing style.

If you are lucky, you'll cry, believing she is a cold-hearted witch perfectionistic task master.

Why is this lucky? Because if you know your manuscript has flaws, but you're so close to it you can't see it, and you are ready to put in the work to make it shine, and you're ready to hear that your every word isn't the chime of heavenly bells, then *this* kind of editor will be your biggest champion.

When I started to interact with Rebecca Blain on Google+, I had no idea she would end up owning me.

Yes, she has, in the span of 2 days, reduced me to a quivering pile of jelly. I gave her what I knew was a story that needed some work. What she gave me back was about as pleasant as getting a cavity drilled without novocaine. 

What I figured would turn into a structured revision will be more like a complete tear down and rebuild after scouring the foundation. (okay, maybe the foundation can stay) This was the third book I wrote. I was still mastering the basics of POV and scene building. I didn't really have a firm grasp on characterization and didn't see my problem with floating heads in black boxes. In short, this was in essence, a trunked novel.

But stubborn girl that I am, I didn't want to abandon the story and after finishing my eighth manuscript, I figured I was up to the challenge.

In the past 48 hours, I think Rebecca has challenged me in my writing life more than I have ever been challenged before. Even if this story doesn't find its way into the world, I know all my future stories will be stronger because of what she is putting me through.

Even if I'd rather spend more time with my dentist than face her comments on another attempt at the opening scene of this book.

Taking charge, taking chances: publishing my first novel

Sometime in early 2011, it became clear to me that despite my agent's best efforts and despite her getting my Fae novel in the hands of the big, coveted NY publishing houses, The Between wasn't going to be published.  It wasn't because the story wasn't compelling, or the characters flat, or the writing poor.  It was simply a market decision.  I am an unknown quantity as far as the publishing houses were concerned.  They would have to be certain of selling a certain number of books in order to make their profit.  They believed the market for a Fae changeling tale was limited and thus they passed on my story.

Yes, I was disappointed.  Yes, I was frustrated.  After licking my wounds for a day, I began to think about my options. 

Option 1:  trunk the story and work on another.  Well, I was already working on other novels.  In fact I had written 2 others in the time since writing The Between.  But trunk a novel that so many people believe is ready for prime time?  That seemed wrong, somehow.

Option 2: take a leap of faith and publish it on my own.  If you'd asked me 6 months ago, I wouldn't have considered self-publishing as an alternative.  I wasn't sure that I could or wanted to handle all the details and the promotion that would need to happen going it alone.  Nor was I sure I could find an audience in the crowded epub marketplace without resorting to the kind of hard sell pitch that makes me decidedly uncomfortable.

As the year wound on, I came to the conclusion that my path would be both options.  That is, to continue to work with my agent on pitching my novels to the big publishers for a traditional type release AND release The Between on my own.  But instead of throwing the ebook against the Amazon (etc) wall to see what stuck, I decided on a larger plan, a crazy plan,  a plan that included working on a sequel to a book that didn't sell. 

How Lisa Plans World Domination
(or a self-publication release plan)

 I decided to give away The Between, hoping that readers would enjoy it and want to see more.  (I promise, The Between functions as a stand alone.  No cliff hanger endings, but there is definitely more to the story.)  I hoped that readers would be excited to continue with my characters and world and want to read further. But I didn't want to write a sequel 'on spec.' 

Well, along the way, I encountered Kickstarter and decided that this could be a model to help me fund my time to write and release the sequel I want to write for The Between.


One flaw in this plan was the fact that I am committed to working with my agent.  I didn't want to abandon that publishing path for the world of independent publishing. I believe strongly that successful authors will be those who are flexible in getting story in the hands of readers.  When I thought through my free release/kickstarter plan, I realized that I needed to let my agent know what I was considering and see how the agency stood.

Fortunately, my agent and the agency she represents are both supportive of my plan for The Between, even though my success with it would not mean any income for them.  What it could mean, however, is buzz and  a loyal readership, both of which might make me a more attractive risk to the publishing houses. 

Over the past several months, I've been working with a cover artist (Jade's work is fabulous!) and a freelance editor (squee--she complimented my grammar!) to make sure The Between is polished to a high shine.   I will be releasing the novel in various ebook formats through various outlets in the next 4-6 weeks.  The novel will be free and drm-free, released under a creative commons license.

If you are interested in receiving a notice when The Between will be ready to read, please sign up for Blue Musings, my email list.  Since I don't believe in asking someone to buy a pig in a poke, you can also read some of my short fiction to get a sense of my writing, also available to subscribers of Blue Musings.

I am so excited about getting this story in the hands of readers!  I hope you will join me on this journey.

FM Merry Go Round Tour Topic: Revision

First, my apologies for my late post on the Merry-Go-Round-Blog-Tour.  The holiday weekend got away from me and I completely forgot that the 10th of the month was my day to write.  Ack!

So here are my thoughts on revision. 

It may make me an odd duck amongst my writing friends, but I absolutely love the revision process.  For me, most of the pain is in the first draft.  No matter what I've tried to do for organization, from full on outlining to seat of my pants plotting, to somewhere in between, the initial draft always runs into problems. 

Sometimes it's not trusting the reader.  Sometimes it's not capturing the characters' voices fully enough.  Sometimes it's plot holes.  Sometimes it's pacing.

No matter what the issue is, I know I can tackle it in the revision.  There's a precision and an elegance to revising that's rarely there for me on the first draft.  I'm also an amateur potter, so I can use a pottery analogy:

First drafts are centering and pulling up the clay walls into the rough shape of what you want the piece to be.

Revision is the shaping pulls and the trimming process. The place where your vision of what the clay can be comes into tangible reality.

I am a serviceable writer, but I am a really dedicated and hard working re-writer.  If you ask my critique partners, they might tell you that I am a glutton for punishment, aka, really strong no-holds-barred crit.  Yes, that's true.  Except that I don't see it as punishment.  I see it as re (again) vision (seeing).  To see my story through the eyes of a reader and understand what works and doesn't work to tell that story is a gift beyond measure.  It is through the gift of that vision that I can return to a messy draft and craft something cohesive and whole from it.

That doesn't mean changing everything someone comments on.  It does mean analyzing patterns in the writing to find the places that lack clarity and improve them.

Right now, I'm slogging through the first draft of the YAGSIP (YA ghost story in progress).  The writing is going reasonably well, but I've run into a plot snag.  How do I know this?  I would rather edit something else then open the file for the new story.  But I will forge ahead, comforting myself with knowing that no matter how terrible the words that land on the page are today, they will be vastly improved and sharpened when I wrap my editing/revision brain around them. 

Happy re/vision, all!


Check out the revision thoughts of my fellow FMWriters here, where you will find a list of all the tour participants and links to their individual blogs.

Reading and the Investment of Time

I've been thinking about writing a post like this for some time now, but this blog post about a reader's investment in time vs money, by Jim Breslin got me nodding my head. 

You see, I've been reading recently.  I know--that's a shocker, right?  Well, in the past 2 weeks, I've read several old favorites again, and cracked open 3 new ones.  2 fantasy books and a cozy mystery.  I'm not going to name them for a slew of reasons.  First, because so much is a matter of taste, that just because I had one particular experience with a novel, doesn't mean that another reader won't have a different one.  Second, because I don't want to take on the role of reviewer while I have a writer's hat on.  Third, because that's not the point of the post, really.

Of the three new books I started, I only finished one.

The two that I did not finish were both self-published books.  Both highly touted in their genre, both sold at a very low price.  It was not a matter of investment of money, but of time, a la Breslin's post.  While the writing in both these stories was serviceable, there were clear pacing and craft issues that made them both clunky reads.  In fact, I felt like I was reading for critique.  It felt like work.

The stories were interesting enough, but the writing got in the way. 

If either of these authors had been my crit group buddies, I would have finished the stories and made structural recommendations, primarily in pacing, characterization, and emotional stakes. But because I picked up these novels for my recreational enjoyment, I gave up on them.  My reading time is too limited to spend on books that don't fully transport me.

The third novel I read, the cozy mystery, is the one I did finish.  I bought it at our local indi bookstore.  It was signed by the author, who is (I believe) local.  It was an interesting idea, with a nice 1st person character's voice, but could have been so much more.  I read it to the end to find out the 'who/why dunnit' and ultimately didn't feel like I had gotten my time's worth out of it. 

I find that quite sad.  Three potentially excellent tales, all hamstrung by craft issues that could/should have been addressed in revisions and with a strong editor.  Were these books professionally edited?  Once I might have assumed that the mystery was, as it had been published traditionally.  Now, with the changes and panic in publishing, I don't know what the press provided.  The self-published books?  No way to know.

This is not any kind of dig at self-publishing. 

This is only a reflection of one reader, one voracious reader of books across many genres and her realization that there are many more books to read than hours in a life to read them.  So, writers (looks to self as well), do what you need to do in order to make your stories more than worth the investment in time for your readers.

What a Revision Looks Like

As most writers learn, drafting a book is not the same as writing one.  To write a finished story is to enter the world of rewriting, of editing; of revision.

Some people dread the revision process, but I really love it.  For me, a first draft is like prepping all the ingredients for a lovely meal.  It's necessary and it is a start, but it's not something I'd want to sit down and eat.  Where it all comes together for me is in revision.

I recently completed a soup-to-nuts (to push the food metaphor. . . ) revision of a novel I initially wrote in 2005-06 called "MindBlind."  A thriller that started as a series of what ifs (as most of my stories do):  What if there were individuals so empathic that, in essence, they could read the emotional states of others?  What if that 'hyper-empathy' was often so overwhelming to children that the state was classified as a disorder?  What if the adults that "passed" as neurotypical felt they had to live closeted lives or be subject to radical treatment?

From there, came the central premise of MindBlind:

A lifetime of 'passing' as a mindblind has saved Isabel Jepsen from the treatment for hyper empathy that left her older sister Kathryn self-centered and emotionally stunted. When Kathryn becomes an unwilling subject in a government sanctioned medical experiment, Isabel must reveal the truth of her hidden nature to the man she loves and ally herself with the psychiatrist who pioneered the treatment she has been avoiding all her life. Isabel risks far more than her anonymity in the race to save Kathryn. If the man who took her sister discovers Isabel is also an empath, she fears she will become his next test subject.

My first few iterations of MindBlind was as a near future SF story.  When I pulled it from the trunk this year to give to some of my crit buddies, their feedback made it clear that in the intervening years, time had caught up with my Science Fiction and the story sat well in contemporary time.

But that wasn't the heart and soul of what needed to be done in the revision.  I knew there were pacing issues.  I knew the ending wasn't strong enough.  I knew some of the characters didn't shine.  So I committed myself to solving the novel's problems.  And for that, I needed some new tools.

One of the tools I used for this revision was Larry Brooks' "Story Engineering" book.  I started out looking at what I saw as the flaws and did this brainstorming:

My very messy handwriting, first thoughts

Then came more thoughts about how to strengthen my protagonist, Isabel:

There is something about yellow legal pads that says 'editing' to me.

Added to the 5 pages of handwritten notes (I'll spare you more of my chicken scratch),  I also dug into the story's structure with Brooks' template.  I wrote my own version of his basic design of looking at the story in quartiles and used it as a worksheet.

What I discovered in my initial look at the quartiles was that my ending 25% of the story was more like 10-15%.  It was too short.  That's where my intuition about pacing came in.  There were some places earlier where the story dragged out as well.  Ultimately, I put it all together: enhance the characterization, sharpen the stakes, make each scene advance the plot cleanly, make the hero the primary mover/shaker of the conclusion for a net addition of 6K on the story.

That brought the balance essentially in line with Brooks' four part structure.

What did I learn from this?

1--that my structure instincts are essentially sound.  For the most part, what I wrote through my first few drafts wasn't critically far off from the ideal structure.

2--that structure isn't confining; it's freeing.  Once I was able to look at the architectural underpinnings of the story as a separate thing from the story itself, I could make changes easily, without feeling like I was tearing out the heart of the novel.

3--Having a lens to examine revision was extremely helpful to me. It helped keep me from getting caught up in sentence level tweaking, which, although part of the overall process, was a different mindset from structural work.

4--that revision is what can make a good story a better one.

Why Revision Makes me Fall in Love Again

I may be an oddity among writers: I love the revision process. It is not unusual for me to revise a poem dozens of times and still not consider it finished. (Yes, I know there is a danger in getting in an endless revision loop and work hard to avoid that trap.)

This seems to have been the year for revisions. Since January, I have substantially revised 2 of my novels and am considering diving into a 3rd. The project I am currently working on, I initially wrote in 2005/6, revised in 2008, and then put away until a few months ago. It's been fascinating to look at this novel--the writer's version of an archeology dig--and see how my process and my writing has evolved.

The bones of the story are sound; the story needed work. At the time, I didn't have the resources to do the kind of revision required. Now, I believe I do. And I believe I can do justice to the story.

I'm really excited about it. And the tools I needed came in the mail last week. I read through Blake Snyder's "Save the Cat," and am currently working my way through Larry Brooks' "Story Engineering."

(Inevitable digression: I have an addiction to craft books. I figure it's like a chef's need to collect recipes.)

I think if I had read these books as a fledgling writer, I wouldn't have gotten so much out of them. Reading them now, I can apply them to the specifics of my own work and you know what? It's so cool! I have 5 pages of handwritten notes with a plan for sharpening theme, character, stakes, and pacing. At the end of this process, I will have a story that rocks the house.

Learning to let the story unfold

Several of my stories are 1st person narratives from a teen voice.  They are solid stories with compelling plots. One of them was what snagged the interest of my agent, Nephele Tempest.  That book, though it garned a lot of editor attention, didn't sell.

The feedback we got from those editors talked about voice, but at the time, I wasn't sure how to fix what they saw as the flaw in what was otherwise a story they really liked.

Fast forward several manuscripts and several crit groups later. I'm in a small group with 2 other novelists.  We've gone a few rounds of meetings and they've offered me priceless feedback on two of my 1st person novels.  I think I'm finally seeing what I couldn't see before.

One of my writing 'tics' is to use narrative to summarize in order to get to what happens next.  And that summary ends up sounding not like my character's voice, but like my own, in voiceover.  My crit partners didn't put in in these terms, but what I think has to happen is that I need to let the story unfold, rather than drive it forward.  The way to do that is by deeper immersion into my character; choosing critical aspects of the story and letting the reader experience what he sees.

Here is an example of putting that into practice:

I wasn't the only one not happy to be there. Devon Smithfield was in group and he was also in just about all my classes. I guess because we're both fatherless boys, that's supposed to make us buds. At least that's what Ms. Stanhope seems to think. And long after she's gone to some other internship, I'll still be trapped in therapy group purgatory with Devon. No one's supposed to know, but his dad’s in federal jail for embezzlement. If he’s lucky, he’ll be able to see his son graduate from college. It would be a lot simpler if my dad was in prison. "Langdon?" God, I hate it when teachers call me that. Ms. Stanhope was looking down at my desk and frowning. I must’ve spaced out in group again and while my brain was busy elsewhere, my right hand was drawing. It was like last night's dream spilled out on the page. Somehow my pencil managed to capture the deep shadows lurking behind the windows and the danger twisted in the wrought iron railings.

I shuffled into the classroom and dragged one of the desks away from the semicircle Ms. Stanhope had carefully arranged. Devon Smithfield was right behind me. He sneered and took the seat at the opposite end of the room, both of us ignoring the rest of the kids. He pulled one of his earbuds out and pretended to listen to Ms. Stanhope struggle to get all of us talking. I felt sorry for her. Devon Fucking Smithfield. He was in just about all my classes. I guess because we're a pair of fatherless boys, that's supposed to make us buds. At least that's what Ms. Stanhope seems to think. Long after she's gone to some other internship, I'll still be trapped in therapy group purgatory with Devon. No one's supposed to know, but the feds sent his dad to jail for embezzlement. If he’s lucky, he’ll be able to see his son graduate from college. It would be a lot simpler if my dad was in prison. "Langdon?" God, it was bad enough that my mom called me that this morning. Ms. Stanhope was looking down at my desk and frowning. It wasn't a look that went well with her pink sweater and pearls, the blond pony tail, the sympathetic blue eyes. I was sure there was a course in social worker school on how to look completely earnest. She had probably aced it. I looked down, trying to figure out why she was singling me out. I certainly wasn't the only one who spaced out in group. But while my brain was busy elsewhere, my right hand had been drawing. It was still gripping the pencil I didn't remember taking from my bag. I forced my fingers to open. The pencil rolled across my open math notebook until it hit the metal spiral. Even closing my eyes, I couldn't avoid the image of last night's dream spilled out across the page. Somehow I managed to capture the deep shadows lurking behind the windows and the danger twisted in the wrought iron railings.

The section on the left was an older draft. The section on the right, the result of this morning's work. Any thoughts?