Thursday, June 05, 2008

Would you read this book (Part 2)?

A few weeks ago, I posted this blurb about "Heal Thyself." Even as I wrote it, I knew it didn't capture the story or its characters. Today I set out to update my website, adding "Heal Thyself" to the completed novels section and wrote this:

Lilliane Tor, a renowned healer from Rimland, learns the cost of keeping her oath when she defies guild orders and saves the life of Jahnissim Hal Zev, a member of the nomadic and insular Tisreen. A fugitive from her own land, she escapes to Tisreen with Zev and enters a bewildering world of a rigid religion and culture, where women's roles are tightly controlled and political disputes are settled on the edge of a blade. And where hudessh, or The Divine obligation, is as binding as any healer's oath.

That Zev owes his life to a woman, and one who doesn't follow his beliefs challenges the foundations of his identity. When he finds evidence of an illegal slave trade poisoning the heart of both their countries, Zev must learn to trust Lilliane, working with her against a common evil. Their quest to unravel the truth and expose the trade threatens their lives, the stability of two governments, and the core of their own beliefs about one another.

I think it more captures the characters than my first iteration. What do you think? Would you read this book? Why/why not?


  1. here i am again,, and i have to agree this makes it much more interesting to me... the second paragraph is very personalble...and you know i love that....

    however,, in the first,, i think,, and as you know this is just my opinion,, that i would remove the following phrases, and in so doing achieve perfection....

    a renowned healer from Rimland,
    a member of the nomadic and insular Tisreen.
    hudessh, or

    while i know that to you as the author those phrases may seem pivotal,, i find them unnecessary,, and confusing...

    i think by removing these phrases,, the last sentence of the first paragraph is then freed to do its job,,, make me wonder,, what is the divine obligation and what was the oath she took when she became a healer??? and in so doing whets my appetite to know more...

    well,,, you asked......

  2. paisley--you're a total peach for coming back *again* to read this! Thank you very much for your comments. At least I'm getting closer. LOL.

    Creating a 'blurb' is just about as hard as writing the whole blasted thing.