Writing has been more of a struggle the past few months than any time in the past 3 1/2 years. I'm not sure why that is, but I needed to take a break from some of my writing commitments and recharge my creative batteries. Part of that included the break I took from writing "Heal Thyself" in November and part of December. I also took a brief hiatus from my moderating duties at Wild Poetry Forum. We will be having company for school vacation week--my niece from Florida, and my niece and nephew from Philadelphia, which will increase the kidlings here from the usual 2 to 5. Yikes! Fortunately, they all get along and are close in age, ranging from 9 to 15. It seemed to make sense that while the cousins were all here, I would take a break from daily reading and critiquing poetry.
While I miss the day to day interaction with the community of poets I have been part of for the past 5 years or so, I also feel like a weight has been lifted off me. And it's not as if the obligation has been anything other than self-imposed. I have this over developed sense of responsibility and have been pushing myself to read everything on the board and comment on as much as I possibly could. It's such a fast moving board, I was feeling more than a little overwhelmed.
Just taking a few weeks off feels like a huge gift. Once the new year begins, I know I will be able to return refreshed.
I've also been able to pick my way past the block with "Heal Thyself" and I'm just shy of 77K. I have a good sense of where the story is going and how it will end. I've also realized something very important: I'm writing this for me.
I have no external pressures. No agent. No publisher. No deadline. No expectations at all except for the ones I impose upon myself.
This is the time when writing is a completely selfish act. I have the ability and the time and space to create novels because I love them. Yes, I am pursuing publication, but for now, I can write what I wish because I wish it.
Once I step into the world of work for publication, I will no longer have the same degree of freedom I have now. That has made me sit back, relax, and enjoy the writing again. It feels fresh and full of possibilities.
Blogging may be light for this week as well.
Remember to take a deep breath.
And happy writing.