Thursday, December 18, 2008

What I can control

I've been fairly quiet of late. There is a lot going on in my personal life that has derailed my writing. Most of which I have no power to change. I've been doing a lot of moping and negative self-talk until a friend pointed out that feeding negativity with negativity is a bad thing.

I know this.

I also know that what control we think we have over major events in our lives is simply illusion.

And yet, I get caught up in the drama of it all.

What I can control is how I react. Spending time feeling sorry for myself isn't helpful. Yes, both my parents are dealing with major medical issues. Yes, I live 2,000 miles away from them. Yes, my husband's job situation is extremely stressful right now. Yes, I am still collecting rejection slips for novel queries.

Yes, yes, yes and yes.

All those things are happening outside my control. I can sit here and weep or moan about them, or take the dog for a walk in the snow and none of those things will change as a result.

But if I *choose* to walk the dog, then I am choosing something that affirms life, that lifts my spirits, that may lift someone else's if I happen to smile at a fellow traveler.

Today, I finalized a collection of poems I will give to friends and family as a gift.

Today I sent three different short stories out to three potential markets. If they come back, unsold, I will send them out again, to other markets.

I can act. I can move forward.


  1. ((hugs))

    sounds like you're having a hard time of it at the moment.

    I hope you manage to keep up the positive mind-frame - it's amazing what profound affect a subtle change in perception can bring.

    I'll keep my fingers crossed that it yields results on both personal and writerly levels.

  2. i always read wonderful stories by u that put a smile on my face even when i am grumpy, especially in the morning.
    but when i read this moment, i saw for a while myself struggling and requesting some answers or directions..
    keep your spirit up dear Lis, because as long as you say positive things and stay in positive stance, angels in ur shoulder bless u and it will come back.. VERY SOON!