Fear

Fear.

It seems I talk about fear a lot related to writing. The fear doesn't come in to play when I'm in the midst of a novel or editing a poem. No, the fear floods me when I think about taking the risk of rejection.

Every query is an opportunity to practice managing that fear.

Every submission is an opportunity to practice managing that fear.

I am on the cusp of a pretty big life decision related to my writing. And yes, here is that fear again. If I push myself to take that step (and all the steps that follow), I am declaring to the world that I believe I can be a successful novelist. The fear twists my gut in knots.

Am I fooling myself? Why don't I just go on in my perfectly respectable life and write as a hobby for my family and friends? That's the easy way out. I risk practically nothing this way.

It would be simple to let the fear decide. In fact, that's an abiding theme in all the novels I've written--that decisions based on fear turn out to be the wrong decisions. My subconscious keeps writing that thread in everything my fingers type.

I think it's trying to tell me something.