These are snippets taken from my collection of rejection letters. To be a writer, you need a thick skin and the ability to create art from anything is a definite plus.
"It Just Takes One Yes"
(A found poem)
Please accept my apology for this form response,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately
I was delighted to receive your query, and I
Thank you so much for sending [our] Literary Agency
but the volume of mail received in my office
I was not sufficiently enthusiastic to feel
have given it my most careful attention. Alas--
your query. I’d like to apologize in advance
makes a personal reply impossible.
that I would be the right agent for your work.
and much as I hate to relay the news thru this form,
this standard rejection letter.
I have reviewed your material and it is not anything.
Best wishes for finding a good agent and publisher.
The query was not quite intriguing enough.
The volume of queries as of late--
Thank you I wish to work with,
I was delighted inspire me
Thank you so much to offer representation,
Please accept my apology I am grateful.
I wish you the best of luck with other agents
and I wish you the best of success
Good luck with all your publishing endeavors.
I recommend that you pursue other agents
I'm sorry to say that I don't believe
I am the right agent for you. You deserve
an enthusiastic representative, so. After all,
it just takes one "yes" and with so many
different opinions out there,
you could easily find the right match.
this is hilarious! How repetatively polite and non-committal the form-letters are. I started collecting my rejection letters too. Wonderful that you are putting yours to good use...ReplyDelete
"Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately"ReplyDelete
I LOVE that line!
In the future, always include a box of chocolates with every submission. Coincidentally, I'm accepting submissions right now...
"you could easily find the right match."ReplyDelete
That would be one of those sulphur tipped ones, right?
I haven't even had the guts to submit my stuff. Stick with it.
Kaleidoscope--thank you! Glad you enjoyed. It was therapeutic to write.ReplyDelete
Carl--would that be milk or dark chocolate. LOL.
Jan--LOL! Probably the 'strike anywhere' kind.
And have you seen this at John Baker's Blog?:
It made me think of you post here.
Bud--yes, thank you--it's what we all would love to do when we get a rejection. LOL.ReplyDelete
Agents also like crisp $20 bills, so I've heard...ReplyDelete
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