Feeling at loose ends

The author, cosplaying confidence at the Boskone Book Release Party

 

 

I'm home from Boskone.  

Litany For A Broken World is officially out and will take on a life of its own. There will be people who are moved by it. There will be people who don't enjoy it. And some will actively dislike it. That is the case for every piece of art, literature, music, and craft in existence. 

My job as a creator is to let go of what I have made and move on to the next thing.  If only this was easy.

I am feeling uncertain and restless. To be a creator is to know the curse of dissatisfaction - the more you work in your chosen space, the sharper your critical facilities get and the harder you are on your own output.

The positive aspect of this is it drives you to get better; to avoid complacency. The negative? You get so mired in self-doubt and self-loathing you are sure the work is worse than worthless.

I have been in this place before. I will most assuredly be there again. That is the dubious blessing of having completed the cycle of creative work more than once: it teaches you that it is a cycle. 

What I am feeling now isn't what I will feel forever. If I allow myself to name these emotions and accept them as part of the process, it's easier for me to keep moving forward.  

Today, I added 500 words to book 2 of Entangled Realities. Are they good words? I have no idea. But I showed up to do some work. A little bit of writing and some quick research. It took me several hours to even get that far. I kept working even though I felt like a fraud, or worse, a poser - a writer wanna-be. 

This is my lizard-brain getting mired in fear. 

This is my autonomic nervous system pushing me to fight, flee, or freeze.

But there are other options. 

I can take those emotions and use them as fuel.

May you find your creative rocket-fuel today and in the days that follow. 

 

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Blue Musings is a low volume e-newsletter containing notifications about book releases, sales, recommendations, and free original short fiction in multiple drm-free formats. Your privacy will always be respected.

Dealing with Vulnerability

The author in her preferred state

So, I have a book out this week. 

Which means I've been talking and writing and otherwise interacting with a whole lot of people in support of the release. And it's exhausting. Not just because I am -- like so many of my fellow authors -- an introvert, but because being noticed means I make myself vulnerable.

I had been prepared for the energy cost of the intense social interactions of back to back appearances: Arisia, a group reading in Brooklyn, Boskone. I had not counted on the deep fear that has come along for the ride. 

Those that know me would never describe me as fearful. I've spent my life advocating and speaking out for what I believe in. If I were to pick a single word to represent my personality, it would probably be determined. (A more polite way to say stubborn, ornery, unyielding...just ask my spouse and my children.)

But fearful? 

Yeah. 

Give me a cause to rally around, and I am all in. Put a bully in front of me? I'm all "you shall not pass". But have me stand up and promote myself? My work? I'd rather face that Balrog.  

Tomorrow, I will be traveling to Boskone in Boston and celebrating the release of LITANY FOR A BROKEN WORLD with my science fiction/fantasy community. I will need to cosplay a confident, functional adult author. All the while, my insides will be squirming and I will have to work to keep my hands from flailing around in distress. (One of the reasons I'm usually knitting at cons.)

If I didn't care so passionately about this story, it would be easy. And while I  know I am not my book and my book is not me, it is still the deepest expression of my innermost self. So, in a way, it represents me. It's important to me and as an artist, I believe the work can't reach its true potential until it's experienced by the reader.  

Truly, most creators I know are -- like me -- balls of anxiety wrapped in a human suit. So if you encounter me at Boskone, please be gentle. Approach as if you were nearing a feral kitten because I will be torn between wanting to flee to hide under a table and needing to be (metaphorically) petted.

 

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Blue Musings is a low volume e-newsletter containing notifications about book releases, sales, recommendations, and free original short fiction in multiple drm-free formats. Your privacy will always be respected.

Where to Find Me: Book release edition

Photo of me with one of my fellow readers, Donald Maass at Brooklyn Booze and Books

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Two weeks from today, LITANY FOR A BROKEN WORLD will be released. (!!!!!) It's been a long road from original idea to finished novel and it doesn't quite feel real to me yet. 

The work of being an author isn't only in writing the book. It also includes doing what you can to help it find its readership. But authors are notoriously shy creatures (many of us, anyway) and self-promotion is a terrifying process. 

So we do what we can, hoping that the readings, the interviews, the cover art reveal, the convention panel appearances all conspire to pique a reader's curiosity. 

To that end, I was a guest participant at Arisia in Boston last weekend, then took a train to NYC Tuesday morning to participate in a group reading at Barrow's Intense tasting room in Industry City in Brooklyn. The reading was to celebrate an anthology series (Of Gods and Globes) that the readers had contributed to. I had the opportunity to show off the ARC of Litany (yay!) and read a short story from volume 1 of the anthology series that I hadn't ever read aloud to an audience before. ("Perpetual Silence"). 

It's a story I wrote B-C (Before Covid) and one that I haven't really looked at in quite some time. I was happy to see that it held up and for 20 minutes, I was able to capture the attention of everyone in the room. (It's a powerful story. I'm so glad Past-LJ wrote it.)

I was recently a guest on Max Bowen's CityWide Bytes YouTube interviews. You can watch the short video here, where we talk about Litany and its influences. 

An early review of Litany is up here, as well. 

If you're going to be at Boskone this February, I'll be reading from Litany during the Broad Universe Rapid-fire Reading and participating in the Boskone Book Release party, where you can snag a copy/get your copy signed. 

As a reminder, ebook pre-orders are live and print orders will be open on release day (Feb 10). If you are considering buying the book, pre-orders are really helpful for a book's visibility. If buying the book isn't in your budget, spreading the word about it and marking it as 'want to read' on Goodreads can be the boost a book needs to get noticed.

 Many thanks!

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Subscribe to BlueMusings and receive my short story collection, STRANGER WORLDS THAN THESE, as my gift.

 

Blue Musings is a low volume e-newsletter containing notifications about book releases, sales, recommendations, and free original short fiction in multiple drm-free formats. Your privacy will always be respected.

Litany For A Broken World

Cover* for Litany For A Broken World

After six years of work ...

After 3 (or maybe 4) false starts where I discarded 20,000 words and began again ...

After multiple crises of faith in my ability to write ...

After the help and encouragement of my family, writing friends, and communities ...

After a writing residency at the Eagle Hill School ...

After a computer meltdown and repair ...

 

I give you Litany For A Broken World.  

A modern adult reworking of/homage to The Wizard of Oz that takes place in a Boston homeless encampment. 

A young girl's disastrous first foray through the multiverse cleaves her from her family and abandons her in a homeless encampment, adrift in a world and a body not her own.

A doctor struggling with grief volunteers for the annual Boston homeless census and is confronted by the impossible and her deeply buried childhood trauma.

A lonely, disaffected seer rejected by those he seeks to help is drawn from his home by a desperate call across the world walls.

When the three strangers, each broken in some way, are drawn together in a conflict between those with the ability to travel the multiverse and the organization seeking to exploit them, they must risk everything that matters to heal the fractured places in themselves and throughout reality.

Coming February 10, 2025

 

 Pre-orders are now live for the ebook version. (Available at all retailers). Print is forthcoming.

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This is the book that nearly broke me as a writer. One that wouldn't let me go once the characters took hold in my subconscious. 

As frustrating as my slow writing process was over the past 6 years, I don't regret the work this book required to reach the finish line. It was an ambitious story. 6 years ago, I didn't have the skills to do it justice. None of what I wrote and discarded was ultimately wasted, even as it wasn't used in the novel. Those words, those attempts, were all part of what I needed to level up in my writing ability. 

And isn't leveling up critical to the creative process? I'm not in competition with any other author or book out there in the world. I'm here to work harder and write better than my past self. To grow as a creator. To fail better in the immortal words of Samuel Beckett. 

I hope I have failed better with Litany. And I will continue to work and stretch as I complete book 2 in the Entangled Realities series, Every Sky A Stranger. I'm currently just shy of the 25% mark in drafting and making good progress. 

 

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If you are a reviewer/book blogger and would like a complimentary ebook copy to review, please email me: lisa@ljcohen.net

*Cover art created by the lovely and talented Chris Howard

 

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Subscribe to BlueMusings and receive my short story collection, STRANGER WORLDS THAN THESE, as my gift.

 

Blue Musings is a low volume e-newsletter containing notifications about book releases, sales, recommendations, and free original short fiction in multiple drm-free formats. Your privacy will always be respected.